Harry, on the other hand, had done the impossible—he had gotten a hair cut. Cousin Andrew had teased him about it all the way to the hair salon, but had shut his trap the moment he had seen the finished result. On another occasion, the two of them went to get pierced. Harry had gotten two earrings while Andrew had instead gotten a tattoo. Of what, and where, Harry was sworn to secrecy, but I knew it couldn't be anything stylish.
I had started doing better in school, too. Since I had started avoiding Stefan so much, I had gained vast amounts of free time that I used to study and do school work. Daddy was still consumed with his job, but Bert and Seppen Hiver were good enough to help me with homework, and since Harry was a genius, he helped whenever he had time to spare.
Because of this surge in my grades, I began to feel better about myself. Without Stefan next to me, I felt freer and more in control of myself. I felt empowered and like I knew myself better. While I used to loathe habits, I now found myself enjoying them. Every morning, I would say hello to the mail-man on my way to the bus. I had learnt so much about him just by saying a few words once in a while, and now vowed to meet more people.
Considering how small our town was, however, 'more people' consisted of my cousins. Cousin Tamera, Auntie Sandy's daughter, was small, cute, trendy, and completely untouchable. Every boy in the school had a crush on Tamera, and every one of them just about wet their pants when she walked by. She was tough as nails, with a tongue that could whittle someone to pieces if they looked at her the wrong way. No one got on her bad side, and if they did, they they found themselves on the wrong side of her fist. Just the other day, Tamera had beaten up a grown woman behind the school dumpsters for saying the Auntie Sandy was a sleaze. Personally, I thought that Auntie Sandy was a good woman—she and Uncle Cid weren't married, but they were faithful to each other and attentive parents, so I didn't see the problem. True, they had produced Cousin Marcus, who was unhygienic and insensitive, but they had also made Cousin Marty, who was a pal of Harry's.
In fact, the two of them were hanging out tonight.
While Andrew and Harry were best friends, Marty was always indifferent to us. Maybe it was because his siblings were the ultimate loners, and everyone assumed that he was, too. Because he looked more like Uncle Cid than Auntie Sandy, some of the kids in our school weren't aware that he was related to the rest of the Casmins. Luckily, being so adored as a child, even as a gawky teenager he had loads of friends.
Harry had ordered a veggie pizza and turned on some music, determined to have fun with Marty. He had decided that even if Marty didn't get along with his immediate family, he would get along with his cousins.
After eating their meal, the two of them started getting rowdy and laughing loudly, so I went upstairs to finish my homework in my room. Mere minutes later, Harry walked in uninvited, carrying what looked to be small fireworks.
"Working on homework, eh?" Harry said pompously, pointing at my math textbook. "Five, b, ought to say sine theta equals zero and pi, not pi over four and five pi over four."
"Where did I go wrong?" I said, frustrated. Trig was not my forte.
"Well, you tried to change sine two theta to two cosine theta, but you can't do that. Remember your double angle formulas?"
"Right," I groaned trying to not feel stupid, "Maybe I misread the sine two theta—hey you're not setting that off, are you?"
Harry had lit the sparkler and it began emitting smoke. He coughed and opened my window.
"Are you an idiot?" I yelled, fumbling with the blinds, "For someone who's so smart, you sure can act like a dumb-ass!"
"Oh, swearing, sis? That's new!" he chuckled, grabbing the sparkler and throwing it out my window. He cursed and ran off, shaking his burning hand.
I examined my rug, relieved that it had not gotten burnt in Harry's moment of stupidity. Honestly, sometimes I wondered what was going on in his head. Sighing, I fixed the question he had pointed out. Twenty minutes later, I kept rereading the next question without absorbing it and decided to pack it in.
"What're you boys up to?" I called, walking into our parents' room.
Harry was giggling like mad and he pointed at Marty.
"I swear, I'm going to have to get rid of that hypnosis machine," I said with mild amusement. Harry was instructing Marty to take various poses, among other things.
"He won't remember this, right?" Harry asked between guffaws.
"You'd better hope not," I warned. For such a popular guy, my brother had weird ways of making friends.
The next day, I asked invited Stefan over. I had been pushing him off for so long that I felt like this time, I couldn't avoid him any longer. The excitement in his voice broke my heart, but I reminded myself that he was probably just looking to get some.
About midway through the afternoon, I was getting the mail from our mailbox. Harry was nearby on the phone, and I overheard him say, "Yeah, the party'll in an hour. Bring your swimsuit!"
"What party?" I asked casually as he hung up.
"I'm having a pool party," he said.
Panicking, I cried, "What? But I invited Stefan over?"
"No worries, I already texted him to bring his swimsuit."
I let out a shaky laugh.
"Are you alright, Yuki?"
"Fine, fine."
I didn't have time to worry, because Harry's girlfriend has already showed up. Within half an hour, Stefan, Bert, Seppen, Dopey and Alice Hawthorne were strolling up our lawn. I was happy to see my siblings, but winced at Alice's string bikini.
Stefan quickly cornered me and it occurred to me how long his hair was. Normally he kept it stuffed under his beanie. I wished that he cut it short.
"Hey Yuki!" he said, beaming at me.
I smiled nervously, hoping that he would lean in for a kiss. I had grown tired of those. "Hello, Stefan. Sorry I haven't been able to hang out much lately, I've been—"
"Busy with homework. I know," he said, looking slightly hurt. He brightened, saying, "I understand though, and I admire you for that. I should be working harder, too. I guess I just don't have your motivation."
There was a moment of peaceful silence where I simply appreciated his words, but the passionate moaning coming from Harry and Shauni caused Stefan and I to glance around.
"Oh," he said awkwardly, quickly glancing back towards me, "You're not in your swimsuit? Shame, I was really looking forward to seeing you in one."
Of course. He was predictable. "I'll go change now," I said with a smile, turning away from Harry's makeout session. Uncle Buzz and Cousin Ami had just arrived, so hopefully they could keep Stefan busy while I was gone. Maybe they would distract Harry, too, because Bert looking keen to split his brother and Harry's girlfriend apart. Physically, at least.
After changing, I looked around my room for an excuse to not go back down and see Stefan, but found none. Gloomily, I traipsed back downstairs. I passed the kitchen, then did a double take. If I made dinner for the guests, it would be a perfect excuse to avoid Stefan. In the middle of cooking, Ami joined me to keep me entertained.
"Who did Harry invite?" I asked.
She gazed at me with vapid, green eyes, looking very much like Auntie Char. Ami had always been a bit of an air-head—but maybe that was rich, coming from me. She and Seppen were still best friends, however. "Seppen's boyfriend; my brother and sisters; Leila Boucher, Doc, Tamera, and Auntie Sandy."
"So it's like a family reunion!" I said with a laugh. Ami shrugged.
I ate dinner with Ami and Marty on one end of our dining room table, Bert and Uncle Cid on the other end. It was nice having the three dark haired members of the family together, and because Ami and Marty looked so much like their mom and dad, respectively, it might have been difficult for someone to know that we were related.
Uncle Cid and Bert were involved in a deep discussion about self-expression in the government, and especially military. Uncle Cid was of the opinion that piercings and tattoos should be openly accepted, while Bert felt that by showing obedience to simple manners of hair and dress, the militia showed dedication to their jobs. He pointed out that piercings were not smart to have in many military jobs, anyway, and that more steps should be taken to accepting people no matter their race, gender, and sexuality, rather than their outward preferences to their appearance.
The argument eventually fizzled as dinner drew to a close and everyone stood up, patting swollen bellies and thanking me for the meal. I muttered gratification at their thanks and entered the throng of party-goers in the living room. Stefan jumped up from the couch the moment he saw me and rushed over. "Stefan," I said seriously, "can we talk? Outside?"
He nodded and followed me out back.
I sighed, massaging my temples. "I wish that Harry hadn't thrown this giant party... Look, I wanted to speak to you in private, and it looks like this is our only chance."
"I know," Stefan murmured, pulling me into his arms before I could react, "I've been dying to have you all to myself all night. I missed you, Yuki Blanche."
"Right..." I said, pulling myself out of the embrace very fast. I spoke quickly, before he could say anything else that would make what I was about to say even harder. "Stefan, listen, maybe you've noticed that we haven't been spending much time together lately."
"How could I not? You've been the only thing on my mind these last few months," he sighed, looking into my eyes with his own baby blues...
I yanked my gaze away and continued, "Well, school has been—" As I looked over Stefan's shoulder, I made eye contact with Harry. He opened his mouth to say hello, but I widened my gaze in alarm. Getting the message, Harry put his finger to his lips and nodded.
"What're you looking at?" Stefan asked curiously, turning his head. I grabbed his hand wildly to return his attention to me. When he turned back, I dropped it quickly.
I needed to say this quickly, while I still had the nerve to do so. "Stefan, I think we should break up."
His mouth widened in an 'O' and he stared back at me in shock.
"You deserve to know why, I think," I said quickly, my heart beating fast in my chest, "I think that I needed space that you weren't willing to give and that we don't really work together and you only like me because you think I'm—"
At these words, Stefan seemed to gain his voice, though it came out cracked and anguished. "Space? You needed space? Yuki, what the hell did you think I was doing? You know the last time we went on a date? Two months ago! And you cut it short because you 'forgot to feed your horse', but I know that's a lie because you love that horse! More than you've ever loved me, anyway!"
I felt the anger growing in my chest as well, and I cut in snidely, "Oh, you're going to bring my horse into this argument? Really mature, Stefan."
"Am I going to bring your horse into this? You're the one that only talks about her horse like a freak! At first I thought it was cute, but it's tiring, honestly Yuki! We used to text all the time, but the last text I got from you was about your racing tournament or whatever!" Stefan said, his chest heaving.
"Well sorry that I thought for maybe a moment that you actually cared about what I wanted! But you don't even know what I want to do after I graduate, do I, Stefan? You don't care about what I do after high school, you don't care about what goes on in my head! You only care about how I look. You know nothing about me, Stefan," I snarled.
"Yeah? Well maybe," he said coldly, "that's because you haven't let me speak to you for the last year and a half. You haven't noticed that I've been trying because I love you, Yuki. I think it's you that doesn't care about me, Yuki, because I know for a fact that you've never asked me what I want to do after high school, either. You say that I don't care about you, but it's the other way around."
I stood speechless as he marched to the front door.
He whirled around before he got to it. "And tell your brother thanks for inviting me. Because even though he hates me for no apparent reason, he was still thought of me, he still thought that I would like to be invited."
Harry, who had heard every word, stared at me expectantly.
"I..." I said uncertainly, "I think he rather missed the point, didn't he?"
He frowned and said, "He's right, though."
"About what?" I asked quickly.
"Even though he's a prat, I figured he'd enjoy coming to the party," Harry said with a shrug. "I think everyone's starting to clear out, though, so I'll see you later."
The night air was starting to feel chilly against my bare arms and legs, and I realized with a bitter laugh that Harry had organized the whole event just so everyone would show up in their swimsuits. Not one person had gone swimming.
Too tired to walk up the stairs, I passed out on the rocking chair in the living room.
The next morning, I woke with bright light shining into the room and Harry asleep nearby, still dressed in his swimsuit. I yawned and stretched, my neck cricking painfully. Harry stirred, and after a few moments, he propped himself up in a sitting position.
I moved to the comfier couch cushions, saying, "You slept here too?"
He nodded. "Er, Alice and Marty were having a moment in my room, and I didn't want to intrude."
I smirked. "Guess she doesn't care who it is, as long as it's one of the Casmins, eh?"
He chuckled, then turned to me, a little more serious. "I wish that you had told me that you were planning on breaking up with Stefan."
I blushed. "I didn't want to know what your reaction would be."
"Euphoric, at first, but after hearing him say that whole spiel... I think I misjudged him. And maybe you did, too."
I shook my head. "He knows how to put on an act. He always gets my hopes up and then lets me down." We said nothing for a few moments. "Here, come into the kitchen and help me with my homework."
"Yeah, I've got some to do as well," Harry said.
"How serious are you about Shauni?" I asked once we were seated at the dining room table.
"Quite." He paused, raised his eyebrows and said, "I love her, but I'm too scared to tell her that."
I fell quiet. She was beautiful, true, but unnecessarily rude and snobby. Should I voice my opinion, as Harry had done regarding Stefan? I bit my lip, considering. After all, Harry's advice had caused me to doubt Stefan, and it had all gone sour in the end. But it was done with, now. Harry could make his own mistakes.
Half an hour later, our brains were too tired to finish the homework, and Harry was looking around the house with unease. "Uh, I never told dad that I was hosting this party. The guests left quite a mess," he said, gesturing to the nearby puddle, "D'you think you could help me clean it?"
"Good think I find cleaning cleansing, otherwise I'd watch you burn, brother," I growled.
"What a unique choice of words," he said sarcastically.
Together, we battled quite the mess. Harry loaded the putrid dishes into the dishwasher and washed the countertop.
Meanwhile, I was repairing the broken sink, mopping the floor, plunging the toilet and doing the laundry. The workload wasn't evenly spaced out, but he promised to help me with my homework for the rest of the school-year, which was about two months.
In other news, the unfortunate and unpopular Bert had finally gotten a girlfriend. He briefly mentioned her at the party, but when daddy returned from visiting them looking younger than ever, he told us that they were more serious than that.
"Engaged?" I said, shocked, "And he didn't even say?"
Daddy shrugged. "Bert's private about that sort of thing! She's a brilliant woman and very, um, hip. They didn't want to have a big wedding—I mean, they're both so busy—so they're going to get married at city hall very soon."
"Can we come?"
Daddy shook his head. "It's only open during the day, and I don't want you guys missing school. You can go visit the happy couple later."
I took Harry up on the homework situation, and found plenty of free time on my hands. I spent a lot of it reading, hoping to improve my vocabulary. I was finally taking steps to teach myself things, to become better rounded as a person, and it was paying off.
One night as we were doing homework together, Harry tentatively asked what I was going to do after high school.
"Isn't it obvious?" I scoffed, "Equestrian."
"What, specifically?"
"Oh, I dunno, Flame is pretty good at all sorts of races. I still need to decide between jump and speed, though."
"So a jockey," Harry confirmed.
I nodded. "What do you want to do?"
"There's so much I could do," he said, "and I enjoy all kind of sciences. I'm thinking surgeon."
"Well, you've got the brains to do it," I said.
He smiled slightly, deep in thought.
Determined to hone my and Flame's skills, I convinced daddy to buy me an early birthday present. It was a very early birthday present, and a very expensive one, but a fitting one nonetheless. Flame and I had an entire plot of land to train on, outfitted with jumps and racing poles. It was crudely put together, but once daddy knew that I was serious, I would buy a bigger plot of land. Visions of a giant farm filled my head, filled with all kinds of horses, where I could teach others and train, too.
Harry, I noticed with some irritation, spent most of his last month of high school goofing off. Even more annoyingly, he was still getting better grades than me. Andrew was his partner in crime, and Harry had managed to convince him to get a haircut as well. Though Andrew wasn't as keen to cut his hair quite so short, he managed to tame it enough to look good. On the May long weekend, they went to the festival in town and did the apple bobbing contest. Andrew won that one.
Harry got his revenge by winning the pie eating contest, then he had the brilliant idea of going for a rodeo ride on the hardest setting. Needless to say, his stomach was quite shaken up.
He and Andrew ended up spending the rest of the night with their head glued to the toilet, taking turns.
Again, my brother had the brains to be a surgeon, but no common sense. Personally, would I want someone like him operating on me? Still, I realized how close we had become, for him to share all of this. Seppen and I had been friends in a begrudging way that sisters were, but I had only started becoming closer to my twin once Seppen had moved out. Bert had always been my big older brother and nothing more, but I resolved to fix that by visiting him and his new wife. It was odd, thinking of Bert being married. Daddy had married the second person he had dated—mommy—gramma had married the second person she fell in love with, and I... well, if things hadn't gone bad, I would have married Stefan, wouldn't I have? Maybe it was better this way. Harry similarly would marry Shauni right off the bat.
There was nothing wrong with dating a few people, first, I decided.
School was ending soon and I would be an adult. I would shop around for a boyfriend and all would work out fine. Right?
