Saturday, October 20, 2012

Chapter 12: No More Hope

           We planned the party for a few weeks later, so on the day of the party I was fully prepared. I had only agreed to the party on the terms that Anastasia would help me out before and after the party. I set her to work on Gus and Jack's terrariums, and then got her to wash Pino's cage. While she did that, I traveled the the grocery store to pick up some snacks. Chocolate covered pretzels, chips, and jube-jubes, M&Ms and Smarties. I poured them into three separate wooden bowls, and then sampled the chips. Deee-lish.


           Drizella wasn't helping. She said she wasn't in the mood for a party, anyway. She just watched T.V. reruns and shushed us when it got to a part she particularity liked, like when two people would fall in love or when someone would commit adultery. Drizella had a strange taste in movies. There wasn't much else to do, so I sat next to Drizella and watched the show. It was really creepy, though, so I just pulled out a classic book that I was halfway through and read that. Anastasia announced that she was going to go get ready, so she left to the bathroom to put her fake eyelashes and such on. And her favourite horrid pink dress, of course. Drizella and Anastasia didn't have many different dresses, actually. They had formal dresses and then the dress that they loved so much, they had bought three of the same. The only difference was that Anastasia bought pink while Drizella bought green. It seemed funny to me, after all, since red and green were opposite colours and all. 


           Anastasia "sampled" each of the bowls' contents to make sure that they were "edible". Fatso. I slapped her hand away as she reached for seconds. She just grinned mischievously at me.


           It was only lunchtime still, so I whipped up some delicious grilled cheese sandwiches for all of us. Step-mother nodded her approval when she bit into one, and Anastasia 'Mmm'ed and kept smiling at me, gooey strings of cheese clinging to her teeth. Unsurprisingly, the sink broke as I went to wash the dishes, soaking me and Anastasia, who was standing next to me. I repaired the sink, then told Anastasia to change into her pajamas and hung both of our clothes outside, changing into my own jammies.



           With my hair still dripping, I made Drizella's bed, hoping to tidy up the house quickly before our guests arrival. Anastasia and I then fixed our faces and brushed our hair and teeth. Drizella had changed into her pajamas, thinking that we had planned a PJ party. I heard her out in the kitchen, slurping on a cheap box of orange juice that only costed five bucks for a pack of sixteen.


            I went out to the clothesline to find Anastasia and my clothes all dried. Looking around to make sure no one was outside near me, I peeled off my clothes and put on my dried rags. I felt like a pervert changing out here, but it was too much of a hassle to bring it all inside. I needed to wash the clothes anyway. I washed my pajama dress outside in the water tub and then left it out to dry, then went inside and folded Anastasia's dress and put it away, taking out her swimsuit and putting in on the top bunk. I then leaned down to make Drizella's bed again. Why did she mess it up? Frustrated, I walked over to step-mother's room, taking a detour to the kitchen first. Anastasia and Drizella were arguing again. 
           "What are we going to do about money?" Anastasia asked earnestly.
           "How the hell would I know? Mother'll find a way to deal with this. She always does," Drizella replied, and not in an admiring way.
           "What if we have to move again? I'll have to start all over! I've actually made friends here Drizella!" Anastasia said desperately. She had friends? That was news to me.
           "I know. Me too," Drizella admitted, her voice breaking. "But the-" here she muttered an unrepeatable swear word-"Party isn't going to help, dammit!"


           "Look, I'm glad you have a job, that's all!" Anastasia said with annoyance. 
           "You're just using my job as an excuse to have a party!" Drizella bellowed. "Get a job yourself!"
           "What job would I have? No one is looking to hire!" Anastasia lied. I knew that she had turned her head away from a "Help Wanted" sign for a reason.
           "Then don't complain about a lack of money and try to conserve it! Don't hold freaking parties!" Drizella cried.
           Anastasia broke down. "It's one party, Driz... One party. Jared and Talan'll be here. Please?"
           Even though if she said 'No' it wouldn't change anything, Drizella nodded solemnly. She grinned shyly at Anastasia. "You know what I've heard? Talan and his latest girlfriend broke up... Only she did the breaking up! Talan's never been dumped before!"
           "He must be one massive dumper..." Anastasia said before giggling. I chuckled, too.
           "But you know what that means?" Drizella said, leaning in to Anastasia's ear to whisper something. I tip-toed forward to hear. "He'll be looking for someone to comfort him... anyone."
           Chills shot through my spine like lightning, making me have mini-spasm, and, unfortunately, causing Drizella to see me.
           "Crap head," she snarled and pulled me into the bathroom. "You're such a loser!" she said, making the all too familiar 'L' at her forehead. It seemed ironic... It looked as if Drizella was the loser, not me. I enjoyed this for a moment. "Can't you let Anastasia have one moment of bliss?" Drizella said, hissing the word 'Bliss' and making it sound like the word 'Sex'. 
           "Um, because you guys have been all puppy-dogs and rainbows to me, right? Lets get this clear, Drizella. Anyone can comfort Talan, the massive dumper. Anyone," I said, throwing my head back, sticking my chest out and sauntering out of the bathroom. 


           I could hear Drizella and Anastasia pillow fighting as I made step-mother's bed. They were laughing, and Anastasia kept letting out an "UGH" every time Drizella whacked her with a pillow. I could imagine Anastasia's 'Gorilla' face as she was hit. Lucifer padded around my feet, not eating his food, mewing and rubbing his head against my leg. I pet him and then heard the doorbell ring. Shoot. I quickly pulled off my rags and threw on my rarely used 'swimsuit'. The tank top contained a few moth holes and the shorts were losing their elasticity, but they still fit. I listened as Drizella and Anastasia greeted their guests. I couldn't quite distinguish whose voices were whose, but I definitively knew that Mandy and Jared were there.



           To my disappointment, Talan was not there. Anastasia didn't look too sad or surprised, even. I checked the fridge and found some meat, onions, pasta... I had made a secret trip to the supermarket and found everything on sale, so I had bought quite a bit without telling step-mother. If I had, there was no way she would allow me to eat meat. Meat was a very rare delicacy for me. I smiled and started cooking, wanting to try something new. Hopefully it would turn out well. Meanwhile, Medina Hoit entertained Mandy, Jared, Anastasia and Drizella by holding a lit flashlight up to her face and recounting a ghost story. I had dimmed the lights and was working in the dark, smiling to myself. Al Dente spaghetti and olive oil... There was a creaking at the door... Bacon, onion, garlic... The girl, trembling, turned the doorknob... Eggs, cheese, salt and pepper... THE GOLDEN EYE! Mandy screamed and I looked up in time to see her jump before pressing a finger to her lip, eyes wide. Drizella looked bored. Anastasia looked scared. Jared was mocking everyone, but listening all the same. I grinned and piled the Carbonara onto one dish, sprinkling parsley on for effect.
           "Dinner's served!"


            Just as everyone was grabbing a plate of Carbonara, Alora Platt walked in. She resembled Drizella so much it was slightly scary. I couldn't understand how Talan dated her. Maybe he went for ugly chicks? I shrugged and sat down across form Medina Hoit with my plate of food. It was really good, but stickier and heavier than I thought this would be.
           "Cinderella, this is goopy!" Medina said after swallowing a particularly large clump of pasta. She laughed. "It's good, though! It's excellent."
           I agreed. It was quite excellent. "I dub thee Gooby Carbonara!" I joked. Meanwhile, Jared was trying to make his way past Mandy and Alora to sit next to Drizella. Mandy was insulting Alora's home, but Alora was kind of ignoring her, trying to get a plate of GC.



           I gulped down some more food, watching Jared and Drizella. Jared had taken a heaping plate full of the pasta, and a few bits fell onto his lap.
           "We can't leave a mess," Drizella warned him.
           He spread his arms apart. "Want to clean it up for me?"
           "Pig," Drizella said, but I saw her ducking her head to hide her smile. Jared grinned and picked the pieces of pasta off of his crotch. 
           I grabbed some empty plates and started to wash them. Right as Drizella brought me her plate to clean, the door opened.
           It was Talan. 
           My heart skipped a beat and I glanced back, drying my soapy hands on a soft green dish towel. "Talan, hi," I said shyly.
           "Hey, Cind. Where are your sisters?" he inquired.
           "Drizella is right there," I stated numbly, pointing behind me.
           He nodded. "And... Ana?" What was the point of beating around the bush? To raise my hopes and then kill them again?
           I shrugged grumpily. "How would I know," I snapped. He barely even looked taken aback. He just bobbed his head and took a step inside the door-frame. I didn't move, blocking his path. Our chests touched. 
           He glanced down at me, and it was the perfect moment. His eyes melted and his face relaxed. I gave him wide, batting eyes, started to rise on my feet. His face lowered towards mine... "Here I am Talan!"
           Anastasia. I should have known.
           We jumped apart and Talan grinned at me, smoothing his hair back with his hand. "Hey, Ana," he said, putting his arm around her. Sick. I didn't need that.
           I went back inside to find Jared washing the dishes. "Oh, damn, you don't need to do that Jared," I said, rushing forwards.
           "Too late! All done!" he said, winking at me. "I cleaned the empty bowl of spaghetti, too. It's just on the table." He squeezed my shoulder before walking away. If only every guy could be like Jared. 


            The doorbell rang again. It was a delivery man, delivering a new television. Splendid. They had proper badges and signatures and everything, so I let them into the house to set up the T.V. and take the old one away. So this was the mysterious thing that step-mother had bought. But how could we possibly afford it? I sighed, worry forcing me to furrow my eyebrows. I glanced outside. Anastasia and Talan were deep in flirty conversation, with Anastasia reaching out to touch Talan's arm ever other second. Mandy walked past them, shooting vengeful glances towards Talan. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but suddenly they were a lot quieter. Talan's voice level dropped so it was a rhythmic, soothing buzz. He leaned in to Anastasia, stroking her face. And then she lunged for him. She planted her lips on his, and he sure as hell didn't push her away. It was quick, but it was enough.



           I glanced away, expecting a downpour of tears, but none came. It hurt, of course. Yeah, it hurt like hell. But there would be no more pain. This was the end.
           They were locked in each other's arms, kissing passionately, furiously, and certainly lovingly. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that they were swapping spit. They were groaning, and just when I had enough, I heard music. "What the-COME ON," I groaned to myself, not believing it. Really, if they could create music between them then they of course should be lovers. But wait, I thought that only the people in love could hear the music?


           But it was only Anastasia's cellphone ringing. She took the call. Weirdo. I had fully expected her to take her clothes off and beg Talan to take her V card right there and then. 
           Talan kissed her goodbye and ran off. I sat down to our new television to watch a romantic movie, but wasn't in the mood for romance. I flicked through the channels, admiring the great quality and the largeness of the screen, but lost interest quickly. I stood up to see who had phoned Anastasia.
           "Who was it?" I said, walking to the front porch.
           Anastasia face was eerily pale in the dark light, but there was a rosy glow on her cheeks. "Someone just told me that their neighbour phoned the police to investigate our party!"
           "Ah, shnitzle," I said, and ran around the back of the house to get the other guests to clear off. I passed Alora, who made a cross-eyed face at me.


           Around the back was Mandy and Jared. As I traveled towards them, I distinctly heard Mandy say, "Yeah, I know you like her sister-don't deny it, Jared! And I like Drizella, too, but I really hate Anastasia." 
           No surprise there. "Jared! Mandy! You guys have to clear off! Someone just tipped the police off about the party!" I explained frantically.
           They looked skeptical. "It's not much a party, sweetheart. It's like a get together," Jared said slowly.
           "I don't want step-mother to have a reason to punish me, though," I pleaded.
           Jared's face softened. "Well, nice seeing you, though, Cind. Tell your step-sisters I said bye!" And he waved and ran off.
           Mandy shrugged. "I guess Talan and Anastasia are a thing, now?"
           "I guess," I said softly.
           She smiled consolingly. "I know." And then she left.
           I heard the police siren just as I reentered the house. Then I noticed Alora, seated on the couch with a book. I ran over to her, completely freaking out. "ALORA, GET OUT!" I panicked, frantically yanking the book from her (causing a page to get ripped), and pulled Alora up from the couch by her armpits. "GET OUT! GO HOME! POLICE COMING! GO! NOW!" Was she stupid?
           Finally, to my relief, Alora gave me a dirty look and left. Dumb freshie. I didn't even know who had invited her. Probably Drizella, since the two looked so much alike.


           I quickly cleaned up, washing out the sink and dusting the top of counters and such to relieve my stress. As I cleaned the sink, Anastasia pulled out grilled cheese sandwich and ate it. Piggishly. Greedily. Happily. Successfully. I couldn't believe that after two years, Anastasia had gotten what she wanted. She had gotten Talan. I couldn't understand. Did he only like desperate girls? I was confused, but the pain was numb now. It was so old that it was dead. That part of me would never feel again. I would never love again.


           I welcomed the policewoman, Officer Docket, into our home. She was kind and went through roughly the same procedure as the previous police-person, stating that "Officer Twit reported dropping by here before, but he found no evidence that there was any kind of noise or visual disrupture or any kind of unlawful behaviour."
           "Officer Twit?" I asked, confused.
           "Officer Chip Twit, he was here about... well, lets see, around two years ago... September, I should think," Officer Docket drawled, flipping through her clipboard. "Well, that's about it, but I do have to warn you that if anything comes up, we will have to investigate because one member of your household was involved in some law-breaking activities."
           "But how do you not know that the caller isn't just being rude?" I asked.
           "It has been one person all along," she said, putting a finger to her lip. "And we've already spoken to that person. They will be responsible for their actions, so don't you worry, okay?" she spoke to me as if I two. I nodded and she left, the siren on her police car off.
           I went into the bathroom to get changed into my pajamas. Drizella had gotten changed into her day clothes, and Anastasia was still in her bikini. 
           "But no matter what, we'll still be sisters and that's what counts," Drizella was saying. "It doesn't matter who you fall in love with because I'll always love you. It's just my job as an older sister to protect you."
           Anastasia smiled weakly. "Thank you for that. I'm just glad that you can respect my choices, Drizella..." Then they hugged, and I nearly threw up. Could you get any cheesier? That was right out from a movie.
           "Okay, step-sisters, get out, I need to change," I said, shaking my head at them. They responded by throwing their heads back and laughing a tinkling giggle.
           "Oh, Cinderella, even your immature, spoiled, exasperating attempts at being a total douche-bag couldn't bother me now!" Drizella cawed, smirking.
           I fought the urge to ask why and said, "Alright, I don't give a damn why, just get the hell out." They smirked in a knowing, infuriating way before leaving.


           Once changed, I went into the kitchen for a glass of water, and found Drizella and Anastasia pillow fighting again. Feathers flew all over, erupting from the cheap pillows like a Hawaiian volcano. They were laughing like mad, Drizella whacking Anastasia with the pillow way harder than necessary. I shrugged and washed some more dishes, dusted, washed some laundry, swept, took a bath, brushed my teeth and brushed my hair. When I was finally ready for bed, it was light out. I didn't feel as tired as I should've. I just felt... light.


           I wasn't lying to myself. I actually no long loved Talan. He was my first crush. We were buddies. Were. He had given up on the friendship. It was difficult to maintain. In fact, I probably stopped actually loving him a while ago. The real reason-and now it made sense-that my heart beat faster around him was because he wasn't mine. He wouldn't ever be mine. He was a challenge. Whereas other boys hadn't been, so I was bored with them.
           I was repulsed with myself as I lay there on my bed, thinking. Was I one of those girls? Who went after the bad boys, the womanizers, the popular, typical boys? But maybe I wasn't. I had fought with emotional conflict for years. Why would Talan date other girls, ugly girls? Was I missing something? Why was I not good enough? But then, maybe I was too good! Oh, that was nonsense. Mandy was too good for Talan, certainly, but he had liked her. Maybe I was that awkward attractiveness level-not pretty enough to make jaw drops and be furiously sought after, yet not ugly enough to be pity dated. 
           That was ridiculous. What did all of Talan's girlfriends have in common? They weren't all ugly. He had dated several of the school's hottest girls. Was it because they were all brunettes? No, there was that blonde Stacy girl or something that he had dated... Their eye colour? Nope, Jenny's had been blue... Flat-chested? Well, if Talan liked flat-chested girls best of all, he was a weird one. Besides, Wendy had the biggest knockers in the school, and he had dated her for three months!
           Oh, wait.
           Oh, no.
           Could that be?
           But I was...
           Or was I?
           One thing that all the girls had in common, that they certainly all were... They were all skinny. Was I fat?


I felt fat laying there in bed, listening to my step-sisters' snoring. Listening to my heartbeat. Listening to defeat. 

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