Sunday, August 18, 2013

Chapter 46: Potty Training and Trashcan Pilfering

           "Got everything you need?" I asked Sandy as I surveyed the suitcases.
           "Yep. I see Buzz and Cid coming right now," Sandy said, pointing them out. Sandy rushed out the door to greet them. "Cid," she squealed, "It's a girl!"
           Cid exclaimed his congratulations and excitement while Buzz watched with an amused expression. "You're in your suit again?" I asked.
           "Char is having so many damned parties. I can't keep them all straight. We just had one for Ami," Buzz replied, grabbing one of Sandy's suitcases.
           "How is she?" I took another suitcase and followed him to Cid's car.
           "Cries a lot. She won't take formula, which Char is fine with for now," Buzz said, ruffling his hair with his hand.
           

           "Cid, get over here and help us load Sandy's stuff!" I yelled over at him.
           He grinned at me. "Just talking to my two favourite girls!" He called back, feeling Sandy's stomach. He gave her a quick peck before joining Buzz and I in loading Sandy's stuff. A few minutes later, Sandy was in the passenger seat and Buzz in the backseat with Cid at the wheel. I waved goodbye to the three of them. Cid was going to drive to Sandy's new place and he and Buzz would help her set up, then he would drop Buzz off at home and drive himself home.
           The house felt empty as I stepped inside, and the silence almost eerie. I quickly ran upstairs to find where everyone had gone off to. The quiet would take getting used to.


           "Hey darling, what're you up-" I started choking mid-sentence as a giant puff of baby powder erupted from the changing station. Jessie stumbled away from it, powder clinging to her face and clothes. A very confused Bert was sitting blinking rapidly, powder covering his body. He let out tiny, baby coughs. I ran over and quickly wiped the powder off him. "Are your eyes okay?" I asked him as he looked at me, puzzled. He nodded slowly and I breathed out a sigh of relief.
           "We're going to have to teach him how to use the potty," Jessie said, brushing the dust off her body.
           "He can't control his bladder or bowels yet," I pointed out, "Why bother?"
           "He's a smart boy. If we start now, it'll be easier later," Jessie said in frustration.
           I shrugged. "Can we at least hold off until he's two?" Jessie grunted in response.


            A month later, Sandy was a week from her due date so mom went out to see her. "She really didn't have much," mom confided in me, "A small bathroom, TV, couch, bedroom, and kitchen. That's it! Well I told her straight off that I would be happy to buy her a crib, feeding station, stroller-whatever! But she just said that she would work to buy it. I just don't want my granddaughter suffering, you know?"
           "Of course not," I said consolingly, "What self-respecting grandmother would?"


           "Since she's taking a break from painting-which I think is the wrong thing to do, considering that her paintings bring in the most money-she's working hard on her guitar. She did tell me that the baby really likes it, though," mom mused, "And we went outside and she played for me. She's really good, I'll admit, but playing for tips just isn't the same as selling artwork."
           "It's like singing on the streets versus getting a gig," I suggested.
           "Exactly! Gigs are just so much better. You know how much you're going to get paid and you don't need to worry about it."


           "Speaking of which, I'm going to get changed into my outfit for my gig which is in two hours," mom said, getting up, "And I'm going to garden for an hour."
           "I don't think you need a whole hour for a garden," I replied skeptically. 
           "No, I need much more than that," mom said smartly. When I went outside to check on her later, I saw her point.
           "Is it safe for the trees to be planted that close together?" I asked cautiously.
           Mom glanced at them. "I'm sure half of them will die. I'll just trim them so that they can grow next to each other. I have apple trees and tomato plants-" I ran inside before the garden talk could infiltrate my mind. 


           A terrible retching noise attacked my ears as I climbed the stairs to the second floor. I dashed inside, positive that the source wasn't my sister. "Jessie!" I cried as she spewed up in the toilet. "Are you alright? What does this mean?" I said frantically, helping her up.
           "It means that I ate something gone bad. I got my period last week, on time. I'm fine," she said, but her face was clouded with doubt.


           Jessie snatched up her toothbrush and applied liberal amounts of toothpaste before jamming it into her mouth. "I'm not pregnant," she repeated, "I'm not."
           "I wouldn't be sad if you were," I reminded her. It wasn't impossible for her to be pregnant. Since Bert slept through the nights and my work had open hours, it wasn't too difficult to make time for each other. "Are you happy?" I asked Jessie, remembering what my dad had told me.
           "Uh-huh," she managed through the toothpaste. She spat into the sink. "I'm very happy. I've gotten everything I've ever wanted. I have a great family, a beautiful home, and earn quite a bit of money through my blogging and other online work. I've got it all!"


           My suspicions were proved to be correct when, two days later, I found Jessie vomiting again. "Babe, you have to tell me what's wrong," I said anxiously, grabbing her hand and pulling her close to me.
           She rested her hand on my shoulder weakly. "Dee, you're right... We're going to have another one."
           I smiled and pulled her in for a kiss, but she pushed me away. "Oh, right. Throw up and such," I said, and kissed her forehead instead.
           "This one will be a girl," Jessie promised.


           After Jessie's big news, I became obsessed with following up on what Jodi had told me months ago about Officer Barkley. I had originally pushed the idea aside, thinking it as ridiculous. But as I tried to piece certain cases together, I found that if I inserted Officer Barkley into the equation, it made sense. What I needed was proof. When I knew she was out, I drove over to Officer Barkley's house, leaving the car parked several streets away. I snuck up to her house and, after making sure the coast was clear, opened her mailbox. I withdrew two envelopes. Both were sent by her. She was paying off bills. I pocketed the envelopes and hid. Once I was safe from outside eyes, I withdrew a special steam making machine. I carefully opened the envelopes and examined the mail, marking down the amount of money that was payed. I noticed that Officer Barkley had paid exactly one hundred dollars more than was required. I was sure that someone would correct her mistake.
           Once finished, I resealed the envelope and replaced them in the mailbox, making sure to remove all traces of fingerprints on the mail and mailbox.


           I gave her house one sweeping glance and my eyes fell upon her garbage can. It was on the side of the garage, and therefore hidden from view. I snuck over and reached inside, rifling through the can for something-anything that looked suspicious. I found nothing of importance, despite my vigorous search, and shed my garbage lined jacket before getting back into the car. Hopefully I would be able to wash it before Jessie saw the stains on it.


           "Poopy?" 
           "Darling look, he's pooping!" Jessie said excitedly, pinching my bare arm.
           "Ouch! Yes, I see. He's pooping in his pants," I sighed, "I just wanted to grab some clean clothes.
           "What's wrong with the clothing you were wearing before?" Jessie asked suspiciously.
           "Uh, nothing, but I'm not going to stay in my uniform all day," I babbled quickly.
           "Fair enough." Jessie walked over to Bert. "That's right Bert! Poop!" She took him off the toddler potty. "But no poo!" she said teasingly, pointing into the potty. Bert looked into it and stuck his thumb in his mouth, confused. "Bert, you need to take your pants off first!" Jessie said coaxingly. I watched as she ran through taking off the pants and putting them back on.
           "There's poo in his diaper. He needs to learn to take the diaper off, too," I sighed, quickly grabbing Bert's diaper to throw out.


           When I came back, Jessie was giving Bert a bath to clean the poop off of him. "Babble," Bert cooed, looking at the soapy water around him.
           "That's right! Bubbles!" Jessie encouraged, clapping her hands. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her, feeling her protruding stomach. 
           "Hello baby number two," I whispered, rubbing Jess's stomach.
           "Ssh. I haven't told Bert yet," Jessie said, "I don't want him to get jealous. He barely knows how to talk."
           "Are you going to teach him?"
           "Yes, I plan on starting with proper words in two months."
           "We'll tell him after that."


           Two months later, Jessie kept to her word and sat on the floor with Bert. "Can you say 'Oi'?"
           "Oh!" Bert tried.
           "Oi!"
           "Oh-ee!"
           "Oi!"
           "Ah-ee"
           "Oi!"
           "Oh-yee!"
           "Very good!" Jessie said, smiling. 
           "Sorry to interrupt your session," I said, "But I thought that I would take over while you pop down out to do your errands."


           "Did you hear daddy?" Jessie said, scooping Bert up in her arms, "Daddy thinks that mommy's going to do errands!"
           "Ewwands!"
           "Very good! Mommy's actually going to the spa, though."
           "Spa!" Bert gurgled.
           "You are?" I questioned.
           "And I deserve every minute of it. Full body treatment, facial, pedicure, manicure... Ah, to be rich," Jessie said, tickling Bert's nose.
           "Well, I can't argue with you there," I said, taking Bert from her, "Have fun!"


           An hour and a half later, I received a frantic call from Jessie. "ANDY! Come quick!" she yelled over the phone.
           "What is it? What's happened?" I asked, quickly running over to my dresser to throw some clothes on.
           "The baby's coming. But before you freak out, I just had my first contraction, so I should be okay for a little bit. Just hurry, okay?" Jessie said, calming down a bit.
           "Okay, stay at the spa-you drove the van?" When Jessie confirmed, I ran down stairs, continuing to speak. "I'll take a taxi over there and I'll drive the van over to the hospital with you. Stay there, sweetie, alright? Love you! Bye!" I hung up and ran into the family room. "Dad!" I yelled, and he jumped from his seat at the computer. "The baby's coming! I left Bert in his crib upstairs. Can you take care of him?" Without waiting for a reply, I raced out of the house and jumped in a cab. The second that I arrived at the spa, I found Jessie screaming in pain out front.


           "What's wrong?" I yelled, immediately freaking out, "I thought you said you just had one?"
           "I DID ONLY HAVE ONE!" she screamed back, panting, "But I've just had five more!"
           "Get in the van!" I cried, grabbing her hand and nearly dragging her to the van. Her sudden, brutal strength surprised me as she squeezed my hand back, uttering another cry of pain. I jumped in the van, and before long, Jessie was being wheeled into the delivery room.


           In just ten hours later, our darling little Seppen Hiver was born into this world. "She's perfect," Jessie said, feeding our latest addition. 
           "Just like her mother," I said, unable to take my eyes off of Jessie's cute little grin. "I can already see that she has your eyes."
           "Don't babies start off with blue eyes?" Jessie said sleepily, though unable to rest for long without feeling the need to get up and do something.
           "Yes. But hers darkened mighty quickly." I watched in silence as Seppen turned her eyes towards me, blinking innocently. "Will she get made fun of?"
           "For what?"
           "For having the name 'Seppen Hiver.' After all, she is a summer baby," I tried.


"Doesn't matter, though," Jessie said firmly, "She will always be my winter snowflake."

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