As any passably intelligent creature may have gathered from my foreboding tone, a vacation that begins with exploring an ancient tomb in an attempt to prevent our father's death cannot truly be a vacation at all. While I could forestall the action, hint at my father's inability to receive a cure, and dangle the truth tantalizingly, my father's vacation was neither harrowing nor interesting to repeat. After pleading to the Sphinx to be allowed entry, my father explored the caverns within, uncovered treasure, resisted temptation, and was blessed by an ancient statue, releasing him from the mummy's curse.
The entire affair was so boring that it didn't spark a single flame of intrigue among my siblings and myself.
My father lifted his curse within twenty-four hours of us arriving in Egypt. Mother insisted that the two of them enjoy their time as a vacation, and essentially abandoned Leah, Charles, and myself to our own devices. It was just as well, because my younger siblings were scheming on their own.
"If dad can explore a tomb, so can we!" Leah yelled, her voice carrying across the desert.
I glowered at them, furious at having been taken away from my warm day on the water.
"I'm not arguing with you! I'm all ready to go," Charles said.
The pair turned to face me.
"Oh, no, I'm not having any part in this. I rarely get a chance to scuba dive away from home. This is the ocean!" I bit my tongue, hoping neither of them would catch my error.
Leah, damn her infernal intelligence that she hid so well, cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, really? You're telling me that Egypt borders the ocean? Which one, pray tell?"
"Technically, Egypt's waters lead out into the Indian ocean."
"You're trying to tell me that this is the Indian ocean?"
"Fine. It's the Mediterranean sea. Happy?"
Charles rolled his eyes. "Enough of your semantics, Leah. Phil, we'd be happier if you joined us."
"Why do you care so much? You guys don't care much for my company."
"Of course we do!" Leah lied.
"Phil. If Leah and I go in there, we'll get in deep shit with mom and dad. But with you there? Everything will go fine, mom and dad won't find out a thing. And even if they do, they never discipline you."
I considered this. "Explain what I stand to gain from this?"
Leah smirked.
"Ooh, I'm Phillip! I hate having fun! Adventure is for weanies! I want to be a frog, and I look like one too!" Leah made the most ridiculous face I had seen in a while, bringing a faint smirk to my lips. "You smiled!"
"And? I smile sometimes."
Leah gave me a nudge. "C'mon, Phil. You wouldn't have dressed up like this if you didn't want to join us. I know you love an adventure as much as Charlie and I."
"I dressed like this because I look dashing."
Charles sighed and shoved a large rock into my arms. "Here, Phil. We need two donations to get into the tomb we want to go to."
"HEY! I was going to use that one!" Leah pouted.
"Too bad. Are you in, Phil?"
I nodded, barely containing my anticipation. We marched across the sands for a short period, a flat sandy wall braced by two pillars greeting us. Charles and I each took post at one pillar, and at the same time, deposited our rocks onto the pillars. They lowered, revealing a door.
"I wanted to do it!" Leah whined.
"Stop being such a crybaby. You probably couldn't even lift it. Come on, Leah, stay focussed in here. We need to be serious."
Charles wasn't exaggerating. A skeleton greeted us just past the entrance of the tomb.
"Hey, it looks like there's an engraving here!" Charles said, walking over.
"What does it say?"
"How would I know? It's in hieroglyphics."
I rolled my eyes. "It's common sense to learn the language of any country you plan on visiting."
Leah sniffled. "Egypt's official language is Arabic."
"Do you want to know what it says or not?"
My siblings nodded.
"It says: "Unwary, beware. For those unprepared must prepare to meet their doom."" I pronounced.
"I love cryptic shit!" Leah squealed.
"There's nothing cryptic about it," I said. "It's telling us we'll die if we're not careful."
"Well it's boring if you say it like that," Leah complained.
The next few hours passed with great effort. Our path, blocked by statues, had to be cleared by dragged the statues across the tomb, working together to avoid being boxed in. Once I passed the first set of statues, hidden traps set flame behind me, preventing my siblings from following suite.
"What should we do?" Leah called.
"Stay there. There's a pool of water here—it looks deep, but I'm the best one suited for the task. Maybe I can find some way to turn the fire off."
"Sounds like a plan!" Charles yelled. "I'm sure you've got it handled."
Apprehension taught me that this had been their plan all along. It was hard for me to avoid diving headlong into an adventure. Sometimes, literally.
The water was unnaturally cold, and any inferior human than I may have struggled to avoid losing their physical sensation in such coolness. As it was, I was a fish in water. But, I wasn't fool enough to forget my lack of gills, and hurried forth. I could see nothing, feeling my way along the edge of the well as I propelled my way forward with my feet. The water slowly warmed until the temperature was nearly unbearable. At last, I arose in a pool of shimmering red liquid, reflecting the fire flickering on the outskirts of the room.
I was completely cut off from my siblings and saw no way of returning to them. I couldn't help but worry—the door behind them was locked, and with the fires in front, they had no way of moving forward. I trusted that they were intelligent enough to find another solution—climbing the statues, maybe?—but even if they did, the passage underwater would be far too much for their capacity of lungs.
At least they had non-perishable rations with them, and each other for company. They would surely be worried for me, but that wasn't something that could be helped.
—Meanwhile—
"The service in here is pretty good! I have three bars."
"What's your battery, Charles?"
"Eighty-three percent. I have a a portable charger if you need one."
"I'm good for now. Man, there's not a chance I would have dived in. I would have to say R.I.P. to my phone."
"You could have given it to me!"
"Oh, please, Charles. I'm sure that you'd crack my passcode and find some sexy pictures Jo sent me."
"While that sounds appetizing, I wouldn't want to risk coming across any photos of you."
"No risk of that. I've even created an album of her pictures. Wanna see?"
"Now you're talking."
I groaned as the pickaxe chipped away one more rock, coughing as the powdered stone filled my lungs. Wiping tears out of my irritated eyes, I braced myself again and released the pickaxe once more. At least by the end of this day, I would have stronger muscles to help in my aquatic adventures.
After another hour of labour, I finally managed to uncover a star keystone. It wasn't immediately apparent where to put it, but I stowed it away in my pouch for safekeeping.
The only portion of the room I had failed to explore was a hole next to a decayed skeleton. Bile rose in my throat and I thrust my hand into the hole, curses escaping from my lips as small, six-legged creatures skittered over my hands, their antennae brushing curiously across my skin. I let out a cry of disgust and, feeling a wood lever at the bottom of the hole, wrapped my fingers around it and pulled. A chain blocking a door loosened and I barreled through, shaking my arm off in disgust.
The next door had a star keystone engraving in it. I placed the key in the hole and admired the chain loosening from the next door. Once I had found my siblings, I would have to return and examine the mechanism. How old was this place? Who had placed so many traps? It did not seem as though the creators were trying to prevent entry—instead, simply preventing entry to the unworthy.
I pushed my way through the door and immediately stumbled into a pit of flames. I panicked, running further into the flames as they caught onto my clothing. I removed them as quickly as possible, shaking my limbs as if to rid myself of the fire.
Regaining some senses, I flung myself to the ground and proceeded to roll around until the last of the fire dissipated. Exhausted and light headed from the smoke, I passed out where I lay.
When I awoke, my actions were performed under the duress of less oxygen than I was adjusted to consuming, and can therefore be excused. I possess memories of only certain events. Namely, I first consumed some granola I found in my sock. Whether it was truly granola is a fact I do not wish to probe thoroughly. The next memorable action was somehow procuring my childhood teddy bear in my arms and hugging it for comfort. This particular memory was alarming simply for the fact that it could not be true, and yet, no memory in the world was more striking than this. The final action was drinking a potion I had somehow conducted. My senses seemed to regain themselves and my mind was put at ease. Somehow, wearing nothing more than my underwear, socks, and glasses, I had managed to procure both the ingredients and vessel to make a mood-improving potion. I could only accredit this to my genius, even under situations of extreme stress. It would make an excellent story to tell during interviews when asked how I perform under pressure, if only I thought it was even slightly believable.
I was now grateful that my siblings were safe from harm's way, although their presence would be comforting. What if I died in these tombs? That would be a sour way to perish. If they were here, they would be able to resuscitate me if circumstances led to such an event.
I had never been an excellent brother, but I promised myself in that moment that I would not, could not die in this tomb. My siblings needed me to free them, and I would do anything in my power to make sure I could complete that task.
—Meanwhile—
"Hey, Charles, look! These doors opened up!"
"You're right. Phillip must have done something inside the tombs to trigger that."
"Cool! I think this one leads to a shortcut. Do you think we should wait up for him?"
"Nah. He'd want us to go ahead and get the treasure."
"I think you're right. After all, anyone could stroll in right now and take it for themselves. Then all of his efforts would be for naught!"
"I like how you think. We're simply preventing any distress on his end."
The theme of this tomb was to ignore temptation. I passed up the opportunity to grab an gold statue of a king cobra and a door opened to reward my resistance. In reality, there were two other reasons I didn't want the statue. First, I thought it was pretty tacky, and considering how wealthy my family was, I wasn't exactly for want of money. Secondly, there was no way I'd be able to carry that python in my underwear.
The inscription in the following room revealed the true treasure to be the Eye of Horus. Careful studying lead me to understand that with both eyes, I would be able to teleport between them. At this point, I had given up trying to understand the science behind such workings. If father could be cured of a cursed bestowed upon him by a mummy by being blessed by an ancient statue, then clearly Egypt was deeply steeped in magic. The restrictions on supernatural types entering the country made more sense now. Such a revelation, however, was not one I would ever be open to sharing with my cohorts.
After claiming the other eye as my own and confirming that teleportation was somehow possible, I was eager to leave the tomb and reunite with my siblings. Indeed, reuniting with my siblings was not an event I ever before found pleasure with. A final engraving informed me that the rest of the treasure was for my taking as a reward, and a door opened. At last, I could leave this place. Blast the treasure! My underwear was at its capacity.
To my great misfortune, taking the treasure was a non-negotiable event. And even more unfortunately, there were more puzzles leading to the rest of the treasure. I was at my wits end, and performed the necessary tasks with perfunctory motions. The only joy this adventure brought me was the vast amount of history in each room. Tapestries adorned the walls, well preserved paints and cloths showing off the cultural and historical significance of the sacred territory I walked. Dazzling jewels brought me no joy, but even in my state of exhaustion and pain, I couldn't help but admire the art around me.
As I was studying the bust of an Egyptian, a whisper caused me to nearly jump out of my skin and wet myself, had I not the pride and composure of royalty.
To my relief, my siblings had somehow found their way to me.
"What happened to you?" Charles cried, demonstrating my appearance.
"Yeah, we've been waiting ages!" Leah added.
"Let's see... I've nearly drowned, been burned to death, bitten by deadly insects, starved, died from exhaustion, crushed by boulders, and locked away forever by ancient magic. What have you guys been up to?"
Leah shrugged. "Something along the same lines. Treasure hunting! What's your load? There are only a few rooms left, Phil, so let's split up and keep searching!"
This was the last thing I wanted to do, but Leah and Charles departed faster than my fatigued body could follow them.
The fastest way to satisfy them would be to do as they wished. I dragged myself into the nearest room, unaware of the danger lurking within. Little did I know, the treasure I set my eyes on would be the last one I would ever find.
"Unwary, beware. For those unprepared must prepare to meet their doom."
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