Warning: PG-13 material ahead
"Andy," Buzz whined, "Dad won't let me burn the leaf pile unless an adult is there with me."
I chuckled. Buzz was grumpy at first about me being a legal adult, but now he was using me for all sorts of things. "All right. Did you have to rake the leaves, too?"
"Yeah, but I had to do that as a chore anyway, so I don't really care," Buzz said, running outside and tossing leaves in the air. "Whee!"
Buzz did a running jump into the leaf pile and laid in it with his torso peeking out, laughing like a maniac. I sat down cross legged out of harms way and picked at the crunchy grass, feeling the frost melt into my pants. "Buzz, what do I do if he proposes?"
Buzz turned to me and his grin sagged slightly. "Leon?"
"No, the president of the United States. Yes, Leon."
Buzz scratched at his chin. "Can you imagine spending the rest of your life with him?"
I let out a bitter laugh, "Yes, but I can't imagine myself enjoying spending the rest of my life with him."
Buzz sighed. "Then say no. It's simple. Don't say yes when your heart says no. How do you feel when you're around him?"
"It depends... When he's sweet and charming, I love him so much and he's the Leon I fell in love with. But then he has this side that's crude and immature and totally not cool."
"Ready for the flames, adult supervisor?"Buzz asked as he pulled out the lighter. He stood watching the flames lick at the leaf, and like a child waking to candy, bursting forth excitedly. "It sounds to me," Buzz said at last, "Like Leon has always been like this, but now that he's comfortable around you, he's only revealing this side now. He probably acts this way when he's with his family, too."
"Can it burn out on its own?" I asked.
Buzz glanced at the raging fire and then back at me. "Dude, I can't phrase this metaphorically, give me a break."
I laughed. "Try it?"
"Fine. If nature takes its course, it'll burn out on its own, leaving everyone with shriveled remains. If someone steps in and ends it early, then there might be a bit of burnt, a bit of black, but still plenty of colour," Buzz said. A few raindrops splattered down around us, sizzling as they hit the flames. "Don't worry though mate, because if you're lucky, and I think you are, then something, or someone, will come to cool the pain."
"How do I know who that someone is?" I asked, as if Buzz was a magic eight ball.
He slapped me on the shoulder. "I think you already do. You just need to accept it," he said, and marched inside. I stood out in the rain, watching the dark smoke billowing from the flames.
I made a promise to myself. I knew it was wrong, but I needed to know. Maybe Sandy was wrong after all, maybe sex would change things. If it didn't, I would end things right away. At least this way I would have a slow heartbreak.
"Thanks for the grilled sandwich," dad was saying as I entered the house again, "And I don't remember ordering the view, but I'm loving it!"
"What view? Oh-dad! There are young children present!" I said, pointing to Buzz as he climbed up the stairs. Buzz gave me the finger in return.
"What, your old man can't show your mom some loving?"
"Not when your kids are present," I said, making a face and grabbing a grilled cheese sandwich.
"C'mere, sexy mama," dad said, pulling mom in for a kiss.
"Oh my," mom said.
"That's it, I'm out of here," I called, shoving the rest of the grilled cheese down my gullet. I couldn't deny how happy my parents looked. So in love. Despite mom cheating on dad, of all things. Leon and I would never look that happy together. Leon wasn't my soul-mate. I knew that. I believed that my soul-mate was out there. I had also come to terms with accepting that I was bi-sexual. Leon wouldn't believe me, but Jessie would. She would support me.
"Holy crap!" I considered running downstairs for the fire extinguisher until Jessie smiled at me. "How did you do that?" Jessie tossed the cocktail shaker around in her hands a few times, then blew gently at it and flames lit up, bright blue. "Jessie, isn't that dangerous? Isn't blue like, the hottest flame?"
She shrugged and handed me a drink. "Most alcohol burns bright blue flames. I've practiced enough that I know how to use it. I'm getting really good at mixing drinks now!"
We chatted for a few more minutes until I found a lull in the conversation. "Okay, Jessie, you might already know this, but I'm bi-sexual."
She looked down at the drink she was holding, and I thought I caught a smirk on the edges of her lips. "What made you realize this?"
I blushed. "Oh, you know, I guess there's just one girl that I know and she's so gorgeous, so kind, so funny, and so smart that I guess I realized that I had a crush on her," I said nervously. It was Jessie's turn to blush.
"ANDY!" dad called, "YOU NEED TO GO PICK UP YOUR GRADUATION ROBES!"
I rolled my eyes. "See you, Jess."
The day of grad, everyone got all dressed up. Jessie in particular looked hot, but I didn't think that Leon noticed me checking her out on the ride to school. Not that it really mattered, since we wouldn't last.
I was kidding myself, really. I knew that nothing would be better between Leon and I, but I wanted to have sex with him, whether it was to have sex with a man or to feel like the wait was worth it, I didn't know. But I was keeping my promise with mom, as well. I would do it before Christmastime.
I let out a joyful cry as I exited the building, throwing my diploma in the air. "Free!" I chanted, doing a small little jig. My fellow graduate student, who I didn't even know went to my school, rolled her eyes my silliness. Well, at least I wasn't wearing a cat hat thing! Although I shouldn't talk, as I had switched my graduation cap for a baseball cap. I twisted it to the side, just to see what people would do. No one reacted except for my classmates saying, "You look like a douchebag."
The first thing I did when I got home was phone step-Aunt Anastasia and invite her over. It was a very awkward conversation.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Aunt Anastasia. This is Andy."
"..."
"Your nephew?"
"..."
"Cinderella's oldest."
"Right."
"I was wondering if you wanted to come over?"
"..."
"See, I'm interested in becoming an investigator..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Mom said that you had connections...?"
"Alright."
"So-" then she hung up.
I made sure to warn mom that her step-sister was coming for a visit. She simply grinned wickedly and promised that she would "be present to witness the commotion." Mom fertilized the ground with cow dung while she waited for Anastasia, whispering under her breath how she just wanted to "throw crap at that piece of crap."
When Anastasia pulled up to the house in the cabbie, she scrutinized our house for at least a minute before throwing a couple dollars at the taxi driver and stepping out. "So, you want to become an investigator, eh?" she said as a way of greeting.
"Yes ma'am, I've always had a-"
"You turned out pretty nice, didn't you? And call me Ana," she said with a smile. Mom giggled from where she was planting and I tried to hide my grimace.
"Er, okay, step, er, Aunt Anastasia," I said. I would not call her Ana.
"Tell you what," she said, flipping her ancient phone open and making a call, "I'm going to get you all set up then. This way you can actually do some investigative work instead of spending your time doing paperwork." After talking for a few minutes, she turned back to me with a frown. "Sorry kid, but they say you're going to have to get training first no matter what. Here," she said, holding her phone out to me, "Add this number to your contacts. He'll tell you all you need to know about investigating."
"Thanks," I said once I had gotten all set up. I was to report to the city hall to do some paperwork and then I would commence my training.
"No problem, kiddo," she said, and got back in the waiting taxi.
"Jessie, guess what, I-" I cried, running upstairs, but stopping mid-sentence as I caught sight of Sandy drinking booze. "Sandy, what?"
"It's alright, Andy, it's non-alcoholic," Jessie said soothingly, "Now, what were you saying?"
"I just got a job as an investigator!"
"That's awesome," Jessie said with a smile, and Sandy passed me a glass.
"Here. It's alcoholic. Celebrate," she said with a dopey grin before dancing over to her easel. I frowned at her and took a drink.
"This is lemonade," I said with a frown, peering at the liquid.
"What? Let me see," Jessie said, taking the glass and taking a sip. "Sandy!"
"Yeah?"
"Did you have some of the Yellow Fever Cocktail?"
Sandy giggled. "Whoops."
"I'm so sorry Andy," Jessie pleaded sadly, "I really did think it was lemonade. Well, she won't get anymore until she's at least an adult."
"How many did she have? Just the one?"
"No way she could get drunk off just the one. She's had like six or seven, at least," she sighed, "I thought she just wanted to celebrate."
"It's alright," I said with a shrug, "I'm sure it's not the first time she's gotten drunk."
"You'd be right about that!" Sandy giggled.
"How can you paint well when you're drunk?" I asked, walking over to her. Sandy was finishing up a beautiful painting of a faceless lady in a long, flowing pink dress.
"Natural talent, bro," she trilled.
"Can you change out of your dress at least? You're gonna get paint on it, and mom'll kill you if you do."
"Fineeeeeeeee," Sandy groaned, stumbling down the stairs. Hopefully mom and dad wouldn't see her. If they did, they would probably revoke Jessie's drink making privileges.
Dad was still working on his computer, his eyes barely darting towards me as I asked where mom was. "She went down to fish near the beach," he informed me quickly, fingers flying miles per second.
True to his word, mom was down on the base of our cliff that our house sat on, fishing pole ahead of her and standing as serenely as could be. "I didn't know you could fish," I said quietly as I approached her.
She jumped, smiling when she realized that it was just me. "Gardening, fishing... I want to make my own food. I want to enjoy the feeling of growing my own food, catching my own food, and cooking my own food. It just tastes better, you know?"
"Mmm-hmm," I agreed, though I had no idea. I stood in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the sounds of the frigid water reaching for the sand, and the gentle whirring of mom's fishing pole. "Do you think you'll catch anything here?"
"Mmm-hmm."
"So how come you like investigating so much? I never really saw that as being your type of job," mom asked.
"I dunno, I guess I just like being nosy. And this way it gives me an excuse," I said.
"There has to be more to it than that, Andy. What is it?"
I wasn't sure, and that was the truth. "I've always thought myself to be very perceptive. I notice things. And when I make suggestions, I get them right."
"What kind of training are you going to be doing?"
"Uh, I think it's all knowing how to defend myself, how to sneak around, how to hide, and how to get answers. Nothing intense."
"Good. I wouldn't want my baby to get hurt," mom said, then let out a cry of joy and started reeling in, keeping her line taunt. "Now, I can't let this bugger go! He's pretty big... I should... have him... soon... Grab that net, would you Andy?" I helped her bring in the fish. She pulled it out of the net and examined it. "Told you I'd catch one."
The rest of the week was fairly boring-I went to do some training and would be done by two, so I would pretty much just come home and hang out with Jessie. I felt bad for her. She had no education and would never have a job in this world. I knew that she tried to hide it, but I sometimes heard her crying at night. Every time I heard her, my heart would break. I just wanted to walk in and hold her and comfort her, but I couldn't do that. I just... couldn't.
"Hey dad, my hair is back to normal, my piercings are gone, my makeup is better... Am I off the hook? Can I return to the land of the free, of the social, of the normal?" Sandy was saying to dad. I had just gotten home from going to the park with Jessie. We had caught sight of Leon and the two of us had hid, giggling like four year olds. I had a blast.
"I suppose," dad said skeptically, "As long as you drive your mother and me to the park-we're meeting her fairy godmother there. She says she has something to give to you mom."
Not more than two minutes later, I walked into my bedroom to find Buzz swapping spit with his girlfriend-and not just that, he was clad in nothing more than his underwear!
"Buzz!" I yelled. He and Char jumped apart, Buzz stumbling into the mirror behind him.
"Not cool, dude!" he scowled. "What happened to the bro code?"
"What happened to 'No making out in our shared bedroom without a warning while you're almost naked'?!"
Buzz just shook his head and pushed me aside, grabbing Char's hand and pulling her after him. "C'mon baby," he muttered, "I'll go get some clothes on."
"I told you Char was coming over," Buzz muttered as he pulled his clothes on.
"I didn't know that it meant you were going to have sex," I said with annoyance.
Buzz stared at me. "We didn't have sex. I already told you, we're not going to until we get married."
"Wait, you're already planning your wedding?"
"I mean, we talked about our future, yeah."
"Back up. Why did you only have your underwear on then?"
Buzz blushed. "Just because we're not going to have sex doesn't mean we're not going to do other things..."
"Alright, that's good, I've heard enough thanks," I said, "I thought that Char was a sweet girl."
"She is sweet! It wasn't that bad."
"Wait, nothing happened on my bed did it?"
"Uh, can't promise that," Buzz said, running out of our room.
"What?! Buzz! Get back here!" I shouted, but he had already ran outside to join Char.
By the time mom, dad and Sandy got home, Buzz and Char were cuddled up inside to escape the cold. Jessie and I traveled downstairs to see what fairy godmother had given mom this time. "I'm just going to heat up some leftovers in the microwave; I'm getting hungry," Jessie informed me.
"So mom, what'd she give you?" I asked curiously.
"Well, it's supposed to be magic lamp. Supposedly I just rub right here and a genie comes out and grants me three wishes," she said dubiously. She rubbed her sleeve on the lamp, but nothing happened.
"At least it's a cool lamp," I offered.
I needn't have spoken, for only a few seconds later, blue light not all that different from birthday sparkles started emitting from the lamp and something whooshed out of it. A moment later, what could only be a genie stood in front of us. She had blue skin, a sequined gold top and long blue pants. Well, at least she looked... authentic. "As you have summoned me, the genie of the lamp, I am prepared to serve and do all that you may command. You have three wishes, master," the genie said, arms crossed in front of her and eyes closed. I noticed that she was floating slightly.
"Uh..." mom looked at me for help, but I only shrugged. "Do I have certain choices?"
The genie sniffed in apparent annoyance, and ticked the choices off on her fingers. "Because of the matters of the world we live in, the wide variety of wishes are gone, replaced with a measly few. A pathetic way to demonstrate our talents, I must say. However," she said, her eyes lighting up, "thanks to some new laws of magic, there are three wishes which could have never been wished for before! You can resurrect anyone that you desire, make another fall in love with you, or wish for more wishes. But when you wish for more wishes, you only get one more, so what's the point?"
"Wow, but uh, I'm not sure I want to do any of that," mom said, unsure.
"No problem. You can also wish for world peace for three days, a longer life, a large family, eternal happiness, beauty, fortune, or uh, you could free me," she said, glancing at her fingernails as she said the last.
Mom considered her options. "And I've got three? Well, for now, I wish to have fortune," mom announced, which shocked me. Before I could ask her to reconsider, the genie spurted purple light out of her mouth and eyes, making mom jump back in shock.
"Wish granted."
Mom too started rising in the air, emitting blue light around her head, wrists and feet. "THIS... FEELS... AWESOME!" mom said in joy, grinning like a maniac. Jessie continued to stand waiting for the microwave to beep, not even blinking at the scene happening before her.
"Jessie, are you seeing this?" I nudged her. She rolled her eyes at me.
"Andy, I'm doll given to you by your mom's fairy godmother. Trust me, nothing can surprise me," she said with a small smile.
"Glad I could help you out," the genie said with a yawn, "Now I think I'm going to rest a bit if you don't mind. I get cramped staying cooped up in that lamp."
"Sure," mom said, unable to wipe the grin from her face.
The genie sat herself down from the television, near Buzz and Char. "Hey, is it just me, or did a blue genie just sit down next to us?" Buzz said, his arm wrapped around Char as usual.
"Don't be silly Buzz," dad said, eyes glued to the scene.
"No, legit dad," he said.
"There are no such things as-" dad said looking up, "genies?" He slowly closed his computer screen, staring intensely at the genie.
"Well, you don't mind if we carry on, do we?" Buzz asked the genie.
"With your lip locking? Go right on ahead. I've seen enough of it to not even have it register in my brain," the genie responded.
"Awesome," Buzz said, and turned to Char. They resumed their make out session.
"I am so done with this shit," dad said, getting up and leaving.
"Aw c'mon dad," I said with a laugh, following him to the kitchen.
"I think I'm going to dance with my wife," dad said, turning on the radio and pulling mom in to dance.
"Uh, you've got the roles reversed," I said as dad took mom's right hand in his.
"Yeah, just like when we first met," mom said with a sigh.
Okay...?
Several weeks later, I woke up late. Like, really late. Maybe at around two. I had my first weekend off of training for a while, so I had planned on sleeping in, but not that late. As I got up to make my bed, I bumped my head on the upper bed and I couldn't help but release a few curse words. I was a grown adult, I needed a proper queen bed or a twin bed, even. Not a single beneath my lanky teenage brother.
The snow that was falling thick and fast cheered me up though. Heavy clumps were forming to whiten our plain estate.
"Hey 'rents," I said, walking into mom and dad's room to wake them up, "You sleep in late?"
"Uh, yeah," mom giggled, glancing at dad.
"What? What's so funny?"
"Nothing, son. I'll see you two later. I'm going to work on my writing," he said, pecking my mom on the lips and heading downstairs.
"I'm going to choose to ignore whatever I just walked in on," I said slowly, "But I needed to talk to you."
Mom got up and made her way over to the window. "Wow, it's really snowing hard," she sighed. "What do you need to talk to me about?"
"Well... er..." it helped that mom wasn't facing me, but this topic was going to be awkward no matter what. "It's Leon."
"Are you finally going to break up with him?"
"Yeah. Um, but mom. I felt it only fair to tell you that he and I..."
"You and Leon what?" she snapped, facing me and looking at me straight in the eye.
"He finally agreed to have sex," I said.
"So? It won't matter if..." mom trailed off and narrowed her eyes at me. "Andrew Casmin! I forbid you to have sex with Leon and then dump him!"
"Then I won't dump him," I said firmly.
"I'm ashamed in you. Absolutely ashamed. I thought that you were better than this. I'm shocked," mom scolded.
I shrugged. "Hey, I'm an adult, he's an adult-I can do what I like mom. I just thought I would tell you."
"Why? So I can be disgusted in my son?"
"At least I didn't cheat on-" Smack! Mom's hand was cold and hard against my cheek. "I'm sorry mom, I didn't mean it-" but she stormed out before I could say anything else. Crap. That's what I felt like, too. I was a horrible excuse for a son.
"We've been through this Andy," Buzz said calmly as I walked in, "When I am naked, I do not, repeat, do not want you near me."
"This is important," I said, still hurting from the slap-not the slap itself, but what it meant. "Nice lady's shampoo by the way," I noted with a smirk.
"It's not mine. What were you saying?"
"Oh. Well... I got in a fight with mom..." I explained our conversation quickly, before the bubbles in Buzz's could disappear..
"You are a first class dick..." Buzz said, "And you have been lately. I think it's Leon. I'm not blaming Leon, but seriously dude, I didn't think you were a hump 'em and dump 'em guy."
"I'm not..."
"Well that's exactly what you're going to do," Buzz said.
"I... I'm not a total jerk," I said, my voice breaking, "I just want it to change. I want to love Leon."
Buzz looked me in the eye so that he could see that I wasn't lying. His voice softened slightly. "I know. But you already love Jessie. It's hardly fair to Leon."
"Leon wants it too, though," I said, and it was true. Leon had been planning this for two weeks now, ever since he first agreed to do it. "I couldn't... I couldn't disappoint him and then break up with him."
Buzz sighed. "Do what you have to, then, bro. Well, now that that conversation is done, get the hell out my bathroom and let me bathe in peace."
"Will do."
I didn't need to make a choice after all-Leon phoned me to tell me that he was coming over. When I went outside to meet him, I noticed mom standing with Talan, although he had transformed into his werewolf side. Mom ignored me. "Keep an eye on them," I heard mom tell Talan. She went inside, leaving Leon, Talan and I outside in the cold.
"Uh, I think your mom just locked us outside," Leon said as we heard the lock turn.
I rolled my eyes. "It's alright. Do you want to build a snowman? I've been dying to since I was little, but I was always too small to."
Leon laughed. "Whatever you want, babe."
"Hey, so how did you find graduation?" Leon asked as we rolled the base of the snowman.
"I'm not sure what to compare it to, really. It's not every day that you're named class valedictorian after all. And I graduated with the highest honour, and-well, I mean I was voted most likely to get married, which kind of sucks, but whatever."
"What sucks about being voted most likely to get married?"
"It seems like they expect me to be a run-of-the-mill type guy, but I want to be more, I want to be special," I said with a sigh, "But doesn't everyone?" Leon's cold, wet fingers brushed up against mine as we worked on forming the ball of snow. I couldn't help but feel disappointed. Even though I had stopped getting tingles for quite a while now, it just felt worse every time. I wished I could just rewind to our first kiss...
"What do you want to do now?" I asked once we finished up the snowman.
"I don't know about you, but I'd like to get toasty warm..." Leon said, running his fingers up and down my coat. It didn't take long until we were making out, despite Talan building an igloo behind us and singing away to himself.
Just as things were really heating up, dad stuck his head out the door and called, "Andy! Leon! Your mom wants us to put up the Christmas lights along the roof!" I groaned. That would take ages since our roof was so giant.
"I'm so sorry Leon," I muttered, and yelled back to dad, "Coming!"
When Buzz got back from his adventure with Char (which happened, most conveniently, at the same time that Leon, dad and I were putting up the lights), he told me all about it. "The pond was frozen over, so I took her ice skating. I made some really cool spins and moves. I think that she was really impressed by it!"
"Buzz," I had said, "Impressed? Why are you always trying to impress her? You've known her and liked her since you were little, and you've been dating for-how long?"
"Two year, three months and fourteen days," Buzz answered quickly.
"So you've been steady that long, and you're trying to impress her?"
Buzz shrugged. "It's just who I am. I always want to look good. I just like seeing her smile. Her smile is the best," he said, a dreamy expression popping up on his face.
"I sure am lucky that Charm has such a great sense of humour, though," Buzz continued.
"Charm?"
"Well, yeah. Her name is Charmaine, and she's my good luck Charm," Buzz said, blushing.
"Cute."
"Shut up. After I finished showing off all my moves, I grabbed her hands and skated around with her until I fell and she came tumbling down as well. She laughed for at least a minute straight."
"I got the two of us some drinks, and guess who was there? Dad's half-sister, Jodi Charming! She gave Char and I hot chocolates, free of charge. We really wanted coffee, but I wasn't going to make a big deal over it. We swung by her house so she could get a change of clothes, then we came back here to build a snowman," Buzz said.
"How come I didn't see you?"
"We came back after you guys had finished putting up the lights. Char and I ended up putting little horns and a red mustache on the snowman. Char thought it was hilarious."
"Are you going somewhere with this story?"
"Give me a second, Mr. Impatient."
"I brought her inside and we cuddled by the fire to warm up. Personally, I thought it was a really sweet date. I mean, we skated, built a snowman, warmed up next to the fire... it was just... cute, I suppose. But it felt real, you know? Anyway, I asked her to prom," he said.
"Ooh, how'd she say yes?"
"Uh, she said, 'Only if you can keep up with my dance moves!'"
"Cute," Sandy, who was sitting beside us, said to sum up the story. She took a massive bite of her hamburger to show how invested she was in his story.
"Sometimes you guys really piss me off," Buzz said, rolling his eyes, "I know that you think that Char and I are just a high school romance, but she means way more than that to me. I love her. I... I think I'm going to marry her."
"What?!" Sandy said, coughing on her burger.
"I've already talked to mom and dad about it, and they approve as long as I propose after I age up," Buzz said, "I can't imagine being with anyone else. I need her in my life."
"Well... congratulations, I guess, dude. You've got balls," I said, shocked.
"Thanks," Buzz said quietly.
My love life, on the other hand, was pretty crappy. After hanging up the lights (which looked pretty damn good in the end), Leon drove home to change out of his sopping wet ones. When he came back, we agreed to finish up Talan's igloo. We knew exactly how warm igloos were inside...
We didn't even care that the paparazzi woman was nearby. We were horny and just wanted to get it on as soon as possible. Leon had picked up the supplies, because never mind us being humans, but the Casmins were royalty and would look completely dishonoured should we buy something as disgusting as condoms. It was complete rubbish. Sure, being royal had its perks, but we always had an image to maintain.
Needless to say, it was painful. Some parts of it. But the overall experience was... glorious? It was difficult to describe, but I certainly had fun. Once it was done, and Leon and I lay naked in the cool snow layering the bottom of the igloo the moment seemed nice, but not with him. I couldn't help but picture Jessie, and when I did, I felt dirty all over. And as I looked over at Leon, he didn't seem pleased either, as if something was... missing.
I was tempted to sleep in the igloo, if only to escape the prospect of facing the rest of my family, but the silence grew too awkward for me to bear. I pulled on my underwear and scooped up the rest of my clothes and headed inside. Leon put on his pants and shirt and followed my lead. I threw him a sweater from the front so that he wouldn't be freezing. I wordlessly headed to the washroom, wanting some alone time. They were right. It was a horrible mistake.
The door banged open and closed as Leon swept in. "I'm ready for round two," he said, apparently understanding my action of walking to the bathroom as an invitation for sex. He grabbed my hand and pulled me against him, kissing me, hard, even biting my lip. I wrenched myself away from him and ran out of the bathroom. I needed to get away from him...
Leon's sweaty palm was on my shoulder, turning me around. "What's wrong, sugar cake?"
"ENOUGH!" I bellowed, knocking his hand off my shoulder. "Enough. I've had it Leon. I can't take it anymore. We're done. We're over." My lips twisted into a cruel smirk as I held back my sobs. It probably looked as if I was mocking him.
"What? Andy... we... we just had sex! You don't... Why... I thought... Why?"
"Because you're driving me sick, that's why. Leon, I loved you so much at the beginning. You were great, we were a power couple, it was awesome. You helped me realize that I was gay, but you refused to believe me when I told you that I'm bi. I'm bi-sexual. I'm physically attracted to you, but not emotionally. And I'm sorry about having sex with you, but my dick has a mind of its own," I said, turning my face away from his.
"Yeah, about that, you're breaking up with me and you're only wearing you underwear. Where your dick and ass is clearly visible. And your rock-hard abs. And your tiny snail trail-"
"It's not that tiny-"
"Yeah it is. Why didn't you talk to me about these problems? Why couldn't we have worked through them?"
"No... It was things like you calling me 'kiddo'. Like you ignoring what I wanted. Like you acting immature."
"I... why didn't you tell me? I could have changed."
"But then it would all be an act. What would be the point? Listen Leon, you deserve someone who will love you through and through, and I need someone who knows how to be mature. I need space, and you didn't give it to me," I said.
"BUT YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME," he yelled, "Tell me Andy, what's the real reason? Don't lie to me. I need to know."
"That is the real reason."
"Andy..." Leon breathed slowly, "Is there someone else?"
"I... yeah..."
"Is it Jessie?"
"...I love her, Leon..."
"Crap. I'm sorry. I should have known. You're right. This... this whole day has been a mistake. Our relationship was a mistake."
"Don't say that. I'll never regret dating you, ever."
"You're only making it worse, Andy. I... I should go."
"That might be for the best... Leon, I'll never regret you. Dating you. Falling in love with you. Having sex with you."
"So that it can 'define' who you are? Thanks for screwing with me and my feelings, catch you on the flip side," Leon said, giving me the middle finger and heading out the door. I watched him get in his car, bang his head on his steering wheel several times, and cry for ten minutes before driving away. Once he was out of sight, I let my tears fall.
"What're you watching?" I asked mom with a stuffy voice as I walked into the family room.
"When Buzz and Sandy aged up into teenagers. When all of my kids shed their innocence and I was left with grumpy teenagers instead of my sweet children. What I would give to see you three as toddlers again, even for just a minute... or to hold you in my arms, and rock you to sleep when you cried," mom said. She took my hand in her gloved one and wiped face dry. "Andy, I don't expect you to forgive me for what I did, but I'm so sorry for hitting you. I love you Andy. No parent should ever hit their child."
"It's okay mom," I said, giving her a hug, "I love you too." I sat next to her to watch the twins' bizarre transformations. "Did you hear it?"
"I heard all of it. I didn't know that you love Jessie. Well, I had a feeling, being a mother and all, but it's different to hear it come out of your own kid's mouth," mom said.
"And now Buzz is going to marry Char."
"So he told you? That's if she says yes, of course. Which she will. I've never seen two people more madly in love," mom said.
"Besides you and dad."
"Your father and I were lucky. We didn't even know each other when we got married."
Mom turned the TV off and walked me over to the window. Jessie was playing Sandy's guitar, completely absorbed in the music. Buzz, being a goof, was making a snow angel behind her. "Does she love you?"
I shook my head. "I have no idea."
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know."
Jessie's fingers were nimble, despite being gloved and in the cold. "Don't let her go, Andy. A pretty girl like her will be snatched up in no time. She needs protection in this world that she doesn't know much about."
"And we do?"
Mom smiled and kissed my cheek.
"It's alright," I said with a shrug, "I'm sure it's not the first time she's gotten drunk."
"You'd be right about that!" Sandy giggled.
"How can you paint well when you're drunk?" I asked, walking over to her. Sandy was finishing up a beautiful painting of a faceless lady in a long, flowing pink dress.
"Natural talent, bro," she trilled.
"Can you change out of your dress at least? You're gonna get paint on it, and mom'll kill you if you do."
"Fineeeeeeeee," Sandy groaned, stumbling down the stairs. Hopefully mom and dad wouldn't see her. If they did, they would probably revoke Jessie's drink making privileges.
Dad was still working on his computer, his eyes barely darting towards me as I asked where mom was. "She went down to fish near the beach," he informed me quickly, fingers flying miles per second.
True to his word, mom was down on the base of our cliff that our house sat on, fishing pole ahead of her and standing as serenely as could be. "I didn't know you could fish," I said quietly as I approached her.
She jumped, smiling when she realized that it was just me. "Gardening, fishing... I want to make my own food. I want to enjoy the feeling of growing my own food, catching my own food, and cooking my own food. It just tastes better, you know?"
"Mmm-hmm," I agreed, though I had no idea. I stood in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the sounds of the frigid water reaching for the sand, and the gentle whirring of mom's fishing pole. "Do you think you'll catch anything here?"
"Mmm-hmm."
"So how come you like investigating so much? I never really saw that as being your type of job," mom asked.
"I dunno, I guess I just like being nosy. And this way it gives me an excuse," I said.
"There has to be more to it than that, Andy. What is it?"
I wasn't sure, and that was the truth. "I've always thought myself to be very perceptive. I notice things. And when I make suggestions, I get them right."
"What kind of training are you going to be doing?"
"Uh, I think it's all knowing how to defend myself, how to sneak around, how to hide, and how to get answers. Nothing intense."
"Good. I wouldn't want my baby to get hurt," mom said, then let out a cry of joy and started reeling in, keeping her line taunt. "Now, I can't let this bugger go! He's pretty big... I should... have him... soon... Grab that net, would you Andy?" I helped her bring in the fish. She pulled it out of the net and examined it. "Told you I'd catch one."
The rest of the week was fairly boring-I went to do some training and would be done by two, so I would pretty much just come home and hang out with Jessie. I felt bad for her. She had no education and would never have a job in this world. I knew that she tried to hide it, but I sometimes heard her crying at night. Every time I heard her, my heart would break. I just wanted to walk in and hold her and comfort her, but I couldn't do that. I just... couldn't.
"Hey dad, my hair is back to normal, my piercings are gone, my makeup is better... Am I off the hook? Can I return to the land of the free, of the social, of the normal?" Sandy was saying to dad. I had just gotten home from going to the park with Jessie. We had caught sight of Leon and the two of us had hid, giggling like four year olds. I had a blast.
"I suppose," dad said skeptically, "As long as you drive your mother and me to the park-we're meeting her fairy godmother there. She says she has something to give to you mom."
Not more than two minutes later, I walked into my bedroom to find Buzz swapping spit with his girlfriend-and not just that, he was clad in nothing more than his underwear!
"Buzz!" I yelled. He and Char jumped apart, Buzz stumbling into the mirror behind him.
"Not cool, dude!" he scowled. "What happened to the bro code?"
"What happened to 'No making out in our shared bedroom without a warning while you're almost naked'?!"
Buzz just shook his head and pushed me aside, grabbing Char's hand and pulling her after him. "C'mon baby," he muttered, "I'll go get some clothes on."
"I told you Char was coming over," Buzz muttered as he pulled his clothes on.
"I didn't know that it meant you were going to have sex," I said with annoyance.
Buzz stared at me. "We didn't have sex. I already told you, we're not going to until we get married."
"Wait, you're already planning your wedding?"
"I mean, we talked about our future, yeah."
"Back up. Why did you only have your underwear on then?"
Buzz blushed. "Just because we're not going to have sex doesn't mean we're not going to do other things..."
"Alright, that's good, I've heard enough thanks," I said, "I thought that Char was a sweet girl."
"She is sweet! It wasn't that bad."
"Wait, nothing happened on my bed did it?"
"Uh, can't promise that," Buzz said, running out of our room.
"What?! Buzz! Get back here!" I shouted, but he had already ran outside to join Char.
By the time mom, dad and Sandy got home, Buzz and Char were cuddled up inside to escape the cold. Jessie and I traveled downstairs to see what fairy godmother had given mom this time. "I'm just going to heat up some leftovers in the microwave; I'm getting hungry," Jessie informed me.
"So mom, what'd she give you?" I asked curiously.
"Well, it's supposed to be magic lamp. Supposedly I just rub right here and a genie comes out and grants me three wishes," she said dubiously. She rubbed her sleeve on the lamp, but nothing happened.
"At least it's a cool lamp," I offered.
I needn't have spoken, for only a few seconds later, blue light not all that different from birthday sparkles started emitting from the lamp and something whooshed out of it. A moment later, what could only be a genie stood in front of us. She had blue skin, a sequined gold top and long blue pants. Well, at least she looked... authentic. "As you have summoned me, the genie of the lamp, I am prepared to serve and do all that you may command. You have three wishes, master," the genie said, arms crossed in front of her and eyes closed. I noticed that she was floating slightly.
"Uh..." mom looked at me for help, but I only shrugged. "Do I have certain choices?"
The genie sniffed in apparent annoyance, and ticked the choices off on her fingers. "Because of the matters of the world we live in, the wide variety of wishes are gone, replaced with a measly few. A pathetic way to demonstrate our talents, I must say. However," she said, her eyes lighting up, "thanks to some new laws of magic, there are three wishes which could have never been wished for before! You can resurrect anyone that you desire, make another fall in love with you, or wish for more wishes. But when you wish for more wishes, you only get one more, so what's the point?"
"Wow, but uh, I'm not sure I want to do any of that," mom said, unsure.
"No problem. You can also wish for world peace for three days, a longer life, a large family, eternal happiness, beauty, fortune, or uh, you could free me," she said, glancing at her fingernails as she said the last.
Mom considered her options. "And I've got three? Well, for now, I wish to have fortune," mom announced, which shocked me. Before I could ask her to reconsider, the genie spurted purple light out of her mouth and eyes, making mom jump back in shock.
"Wish granted."
Mom too started rising in the air, emitting blue light around her head, wrists and feet. "THIS... FEELS... AWESOME!" mom said in joy, grinning like a maniac. Jessie continued to stand waiting for the microwave to beep, not even blinking at the scene happening before her.
"Jessie, are you seeing this?" I nudged her. She rolled her eyes at me.
"Andy, I'm doll given to you by your mom's fairy godmother. Trust me, nothing can surprise me," she said with a small smile.
"Glad I could help you out," the genie said with a yawn, "Now I think I'm going to rest a bit if you don't mind. I get cramped staying cooped up in that lamp."
"Sure," mom said, unable to wipe the grin from her face.
The genie sat herself down from the television, near Buzz and Char. "Hey, is it just me, or did a blue genie just sit down next to us?" Buzz said, his arm wrapped around Char as usual.
"Don't be silly Buzz," dad said, eyes glued to the scene.
"No, legit dad," he said.
"There are no such things as-" dad said looking up, "genies?" He slowly closed his computer screen, staring intensely at the genie.
"Well, you don't mind if we carry on, do we?" Buzz asked the genie.
"With your lip locking? Go right on ahead. I've seen enough of it to not even have it register in my brain," the genie responded.
"Awesome," Buzz said, and turned to Char. They resumed their make out session.
"I am so done with this shit," dad said, getting up and leaving.
"Aw c'mon dad," I said with a laugh, following him to the kitchen.
"I think I'm going to dance with my wife," dad said, turning on the radio and pulling mom in to dance.
"Uh, you've got the roles reversed," I said as dad took mom's right hand in his.
"Yeah, just like when we first met," mom said with a sigh.
Okay...?
Several weeks later, I woke up late. Like, really late. Maybe at around two. I had my first weekend off of training for a while, so I had planned on sleeping in, but not that late. As I got up to make my bed, I bumped my head on the upper bed and I couldn't help but release a few curse words. I was a grown adult, I needed a proper queen bed or a twin bed, even. Not a single beneath my lanky teenage brother.
The snow that was falling thick and fast cheered me up though. Heavy clumps were forming to whiten our plain estate.
"Hey 'rents," I said, walking into mom and dad's room to wake them up, "You sleep in late?"
"Uh, yeah," mom giggled, glancing at dad.
"What? What's so funny?"
"Nothing, son. I'll see you two later. I'm going to work on my writing," he said, pecking my mom on the lips and heading downstairs.
"I'm going to choose to ignore whatever I just walked in on," I said slowly, "But I needed to talk to you."
Mom got up and made her way over to the window. "Wow, it's really snowing hard," she sighed. "What do you need to talk to me about?"
"Well... er..." it helped that mom wasn't facing me, but this topic was going to be awkward no matter what. "It's Leon."
"Are you finally going to break up with him?"
"Yeah. Um, but mom. I felt it only fair to tell you that he and I..."
"You and Leon what?" she snapped, facing me and looking at me straight in the eye.
"He finally agreed to have sex," I said.
"So? It won't matter if..." mom trailed off and narrowed her eyes at me. "Andrew Casmin! I forbid you to have sex with Leon and then dump him!"
"Then I won't dump him," I said firmly.
"I'm ashamed in you. Absolutely ashamed. I thought that you were better than this. I'm shocked," mom scolded.
I shrugged. "Hey, I'm an adult, he's an adult-I can do what I like mom. I just thought I would tell you."
"Why? So I can be disgusted in my son?"
"At least I didn't cheat on-" Smack! Mom's hand was cold and hard against my cheek. "I'm sorry mom, I didn't mean it-" but she stormed out before I could say anything else. Crap. That's what I felt like, too. I was a horrible excuse for a son.
"We've been through this Andy," Buzz said calmly as I walked in, "When I am naked, I do not, repeat, do not want you near me."
"This is important," I said, still hurting from the slap-not the slap itself, but what it meant. "Nice lady's shampoo by the way," I noted with a smirk.
"It's not mine. What were you saying?"
"Oh. Well... I got in a fight with mom..." I explained our conversation quickly, before the bubbles in Buzz's could disappear..
"You are a first class dick..." Buzz said, "And you have been lately. I think it's Leon. I'm not blaming Leon, but seriously dude, I didn't think you were a hump 'em and dump 'em guy."
"I'm not..."
"Well that's exactly what you're going to do," Buzz said.
"I... I'm not a total jerk," I said, my voice breaking, "I just want it to change. I want to love Leon."
Buzz looked me in the eye so that he could see that I wasn't lying. His voice softened slightly. "I know. But you already love Jessie. It's hardly fair to Leon."
"Leon wants it too, though," I said, and it was true. Leon had been planning this for two weeks now, ever since he first agreed to do it. "I couldn't... I couldn't disappoint him and then break up with him."
Buzz sighed. "Do what you have to, then, bro. Well, now that that conversation is done, get the hell out my bathroom and let me bathe in peace."
"Will do."
I didn't need to make a choice after all-Leon phoned me to tell me that he was coming over. When I went outside to meet him, I noticed mom standing with Talan, although he had transformed into his werewolf side. Mom ignored me. "Keep an eye on them," I heard mom tell Talan. She went inside, leaving Leon, Talan and I outside in the cold.
"Uh, I think your mom just locked us outside," Leon said as we heard the lock turn.
I rolled my eyes. "It's alright. Do you want to build a snowman? I've been dying to since I was little, but I was always too small to."
Leon laughed. "Whatever you want, babe."
"Hey, so how did you find graduation?" Leon asked as we rolled the base of the snowman.
"I'm not sure what to compare it to, really. It's not every day that you're named class valedictorian after all. And I graduated with the highest honour, and-well, I mean I was voted most likely to get married, which kind of sucks, but whatever."
"What sucks about being voted most likely to get married?"
"It seems like they expect me to be a run-of-the-mill type guy, but I want to be more, I want to be special," I said with a sigh, "But doesn't everyone?" Leon's cold, wet fingers brushed up against mine as we worked on forming the ball of snow. I couldn't help but feel disappointed. Even though I had stopped getting tingles for quite a while now, it just felt worse every time. I wished I could just rewind to our first kiss...
"What do you want to do now?" I asked once we finished up the snowman.
"I don't know about you, but I'd like to get toasty warm..." Leon said, running his fingers up and down my coat. It didn't take long until we were making out, despite Talan building an igloo behind us and singing away to himself.
Just as things were really heating up, dad stuck his head out the door and called, "Andy! Leon! Your mom wants us to put up the Christmas lights along the roof!" I groaned. That would take ages since our roof was so giant.
"I'm so sorry Leon," I muttered, and yelled back to dad, "Coming!"
When Buzz got back from his adventure with Char (which happened, most conveniently, at the same time that Leon, dad and I were putting up the lights), he told me all about it. "The pond was frozen over, so I took her ice skating. I made some really cool spins and moves. I think that she was really impressed by it!"
"Buzz," I had said, "Impressed? Why are you always trying to impress her? You've known her and liked her since you were little, and you've been dating for-how long?"
"Two year, three months and fourteen days," Buzz answered quickly.
"So you've been steady that long, and you're trying to impress her?"
Buzz shrugged. "It's just who I am. I always want to look good. I just like seeing her smile. Her smile is the best," he said, a dreamy expression popping up on his face.
"I sure am lucky that Charm has such a great sense of humour, though," Buzz continued.
"Charm?"
"Well, yeah. Her name is Charmaine, and she's my good luck Charm," Buzz said, blushing.
"Cute."
"Shut up. After I finished showing off all my moves, I grabbed her hands and skated around with her until I fell and she came tumbling down as well. She laughed for at least a minute straight."
"I got the two of us some drinks, and guess who was there? Dad's half-sister, Jodi Charming! She gave Char and I hot chocolates, free of charge. We really wanted coffee, but I wasn't going to make a big deal over it. We swung by her house so she could get a change of clothes, then we came back here to build a snowman," Buzz said.
"How come I didn't see you?"
"We came back after you guys had finished putting up the lights. Char and I ended up putting little horns and a red mustache on the snowman. Char thought it was hilarious."
"Are you going somewhere with this story?"
"Give me a second, Mr. Impatient."
"I brought her inside and we cuddled by the fire to warm up. Personally, I thought it was a really sweet date. I mean, we skated, built a snowman, warmed up next to the fire... it was just... cute, I suppose. But it felt real, you know? Anyway, I asked her to prom," he said.
"Ooh, how'd she say yes?"
"Uh, she said, 'Only if you can keep up with my dance moves!'"
"Cute," Sandy, who was sitting beside us, said to sum up the story. She took a massive bite of her hamburger to show how invested she was in his story.
"Sometimes you guys really piss me off," Buzz said, rolling his eyes, "I know that you think that Char and I are just a high school romance, but she means way more than that to me. I love her. I... I think I'm going to marry her."
"What?!" Sandy said, coughing on her burger.
"I've already talked to mom and dad about it, and they approve as long as I propose after I age up," Buzz said, "I can't imagine being with anyone else. I need her in my life."
"Well... congratulations, I guess, dude. You've got balls," I said, shocked.
"Thanks," Buzz said quietly.
My love life, on the other hand, was pretty crappy. After hanging up the lights (which looked pretty damn good in the end), Leon drove home to change out of his sopping wet ones. When he came back, we agreed to finish up Talan's igloo. We knew exactly how warm igloos were inside...
We didn't even care that the paparazzi woman was nearby. We were horny and just wanted to get it on as soon as possible. Leon had picked up the supplies, because never mind us being humans, but the Casmins were royalty and would look completely dishonoured should we buy something as disgusting as condoms. It was complete rubbish. Sure, being royal had its perks, but we always had an image to maintain.
Needless to say, it was painful. Some parts of it. But the overall experience was... glorious? It was difficult to describe, but I certainly had fun. Once it was done, and Leon and I lay naked in the cool snow layering the bottom of the igloo the moment seemed nice, but not with him. I couldn't help but picture Jessie, and when I did, I felt dirty all over. And as I looked over at Leon, he didn't seem pleased either, as if something was... missing.
I was tempted to sleep in the igloo, if only to escape the prospect of facing the rest of my family, but the silence grew too awkward for me to bear. I pulled on my underwear and scooped up the rest of my clothes and headed inside. Leon put on his pants and shirt and followed my lead. I threw him a sweater from the front so that he wouldn't be freezing. I wordlessly headed to the washroom, wanting some alone time. They were right. It was a horrible mistake.
The door banged open and closed as Leon swept in. "I'm ready for round two," he said, apparently understanding my action of walking to the bathroom as an invitation for sex. He grabbed my hand and pulled me against him, kissing me, hard, even biting my lip. I wrenched myself away from him and ran out of the bathroom. I needed to get away from him...
Leon's sweaty palm was on my shoulder, turning me around. "What's wrong, sugar cake?"
"ENOUGH!" I bellowed, knocking his hand off my shoulder. "Enough. I've had it Leon. I can't take it anymore. We're done. We're over." My lips twisted into a cruel smirk as I held back my sobs. It probably looked as if I was mocking him.
"What? Andy... we... we just had sex! You don't... Why... I thought... Why?"
"Because you're driving me sick, that's why. Leon, I loved you so much at the beginning. You were great, we were a power couple, it was awesome. You helped me realize that I was gay, but you refused to believe me when I told you that I'm bi. I'm bi-sexual. I'm physically attracted to you, but not emotionally. And I'm sorry about having sex with you, but my dick has a mind of its own," I said, turning my face away from his.
"Yeah, about that, you're breaking up with me and you're only wearing you underwear. Where your dick and ass is clearly visible. And your rock-hard abs. And your tiny snail trail-"
"It's not that tiny-"
"Yeah it is. Why didn't you talk to me about these problems? Why couldn't we have worked through them?"
"No... It was things like you calling me 'kiddo'. Like you ignoring what I wanted. Like you acting immature."
"I... why didn't you tell me? I could have changed."
"But then it would all be an act. What would be the point? Listen Leon, you deserve someone who will love you through and through, and I need someone who knows how to be mature. I need space, and you didn't give it to me," I said.
"BUT YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME," he yelled, "Tell me Andy, what's the real reason? Don't lie to me. I need to know."
"That is the real reason."
"Andy..." Leon breathed slowly, "Is there someone else?"
"I... yeah..."
"Is it Jessie?"
"...I love her, Leon..."
"Crap. I'm sorry. I should have known. You're right. This... this whole day has been a mistake. Our relationship was a mistake."
"Don't say that. I'll never regret dating you, ever."
"You're only making it worse, Andy. I... I should go."
"That might be for the best... Leon, I'll never regret you. Dating you. Falling in love with you. Having sex with you."
"So that it can 'define' who you are? Thanks for screwing with me and my feelings, catch you on the flip side," Leon said, giving me the middle finger and heading out the door. I watched him get in his car, bang his head on his steering wheel several times, and cry for ten minutes before driving away. Once he was out of sight, I let my tears fall.
"What're you watching?" I asked mom with a stuffy voice as I walked into the family room.
"When Buzz and Sandy aged up into teenagers. When all of my kids shed their innocence and I was left with grumpy teenagers instead of my sweet children. What I would give to see you three as toddlers again, even for just a minute... or to hold you in my arms, and rock you to sleep when you cried," mom said. She took my hand in her gloved one and wiped face dry. "Andy, I don't expect you to forgive me for what I did, but I'm so sorry for hitting you. I love you Andy. No parent should ever hit their child."
"It's okay mom," I said, giving her a hug, "I love you too." I sat next to her to watch the twins' bizarre transformations. "Did you hear it?"
"I heard all of it. I didn't know that you love Jessie. Well, I had a feeling, being a mother and all, but it's different to hear it come out of your own kid's mouth," mom said.
"And now Buzz is going to marry Char."
"So he told you? That's if she says yes, of course. Which she will. I've never seen two people more madly in love," mom said.
"Besides you and dad."
"Your father and I were lucky. We didn't even know each other when we got married."
Mom turned the TV off and walked me over to the window. Jessie was playing Sandy's guitar, completely absorbed in the music. Buzz, being a goof, was making a snow angel behind her. "Does she love you?"
I shook my head. "I have no idea."
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know."
Jessie's fingers were nimble, despite being gloved and in the cold. "Don't let her go, Andy. A pretty girl like her will be snatched up in no time. She needs protection in this world that she doesn't know much about."
"And we do?"
Mom smiled and kissed my cheek.
"Be strong, Andy. I have faith in you."
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