I guess that after I broke up with Leon, I had expected my life to fall into place. That wasn't the case. I acted a lot more clingy towards my family, and I could tell that it was starting to annoy them. "Sandy, whatcha painting?"
"The snow angel that Buzz made," she said through gritted teeth, "As I've already told you. Andy, can you just tell her-" I made an cutting motion on my neck and she rolled her eyes, dropping her voice to a whisper, "Just tell her that you like her."
"Have you ever done that before?"
Sandy laughed. "Are you kidding? I've never been in a relationship before. Sure, I've made out with guys before, but they don't mean anything to me. All the guys I've met have all been the same... Now quit bugging me, I've got work to do."
Unlike my siblings, mom was always willing to listen-and to talk. Mainly I heard about her sing-a-gram stories. She was disappointed that she wasn't getting anywhere in her career. It took time, unfortunately. Time and hard work. She had given up her dreams of becoming a famous singer, which made me sad. She did make good money from her sing-a-grams and her small gigs though-money that we didn't need. When I asked her about her wish to the genie to have fortune, she told me that our money was bound to run out eventually. I didn't understand this. Dad was an extremely successful author-he had written, like, twenty novels! Mom did her singing and Sandy sold her paintings. Even if we had no cents to our name when I was born, by now we would've been rich anyway! Maybe. Mom had told me that our house was super expensive.
Even though our house was maybe in the millions, it had been in the Charming name for ages. Ages. So long that the Charmings had probably built it with their own hands-oh wait, no, we would've had people to do that for us. Mom had experienced poorness, but she didn't like to dwell on it, so I heard about it very rarely. She just enjoyed looking on the upside of things-like her album! Mom had managed to snag a record deal with a small company, and she published her own album, with songs that she and dad wrote and everything. She sold them on the side to frequent clients and friends-those that would trust her.
Things didn't always go so dandy, however. On the rare occasion, mom's album would be rejected, or she would trip or twist her ankle while doing the sing-a-gram or her machine would mess up. About two months after mom had fan mail trickling in, mom received one anonymous hate mail. We were all really worried for her, but mom was really excited about it. "If I'm starting to receive hate, it must mean that I'm getting more popular!" she claimed. I didn't want to burst her bubble-after all, she did have a point. It wasn't like she was Rebecca Black or something.
Mom, dad, and my sister were all successful. Buzz had his love life. He was still impressing Char though, and had gotten a snowboard. He didn't wear a helmet with it, which was incredibly dangerous, but was surprisingly talented at it. Not all that surprising, really, considering that Buzz was good at everything. Sure, at the beginning he fell a lot, but it didn't take too long before he was inviting us to watch him on the snowboard half-pipe at the festival park.
And for some reason, Buzz and Char took couple pictures all the time. We had a mini gallery of just the two of them, necking or cuddling or being silly. They were so perfect together... almost too perfect. When I confronted Buzz about it, I told him that sometimes it was unhealthy to not fight.
"Don't be weird, Dee," he had said, "We bicker sometimes-she always wins. We just don't argue around you. I don't let my love life be an open book, thank you very much. There are some things that are just between Char and I."
"Do you tell her everything?"
"Of course." Was it just me, or did they already sound like a married couple?
I wasn't really in a position to mock my brother's success. It was Christmas Eve, and I had had no luck in trying to confess my feelings to Jessie. I stared at the Christmas Tree I had helped decorate, with the dinky little presents and toys that our family had given to each other. We had never had a proper Christmas before.
Buzz and Sandy had their prom tomorrow. When the school had proposed a "Christmas Prom", the kids had agreed, not knowing that they literally meant a prom on Christmas. In the end though, they all liked the idea. They got to get together on Christmas and party. It was also late at night, so the kids could spend the day with their families and still get to go to prom.
"Christmas Cheer." Yeah, whatever the hell that was. My first Christmas would also be my most miserable one.
Jessie was once again glued to the guitar. Jess had a knack for picking up new skills like no one else-but she worked hard at them. She kept a blog (she refused to give me the link of course) but I had managed to find it though Google. When she did post about me, it was brief and it seemed... masked. Or maybe I was hoping that it was.
"C'mon Jess, give the guitar a break," I teased, taking it from her, "It's Christmas Eve and you've barely spoken to me today!"
"Maybe my life doesn't revolve around you," she said, sticking her tongue off.
"Careful, sweetheart, you never know where a remark like that is gonna get you," I replied. I put her guitar down inside and then went back out. "Is it just me, or is that Leon walking over there?" I asked suddenly, pointing into the distance.
"Where?" While Jessie looked for Leon, I knelt down stealthily and rolled some snow into a snowball. Perfect.
"I don't think he's there, Andy-" Ka-pow! The snowball exploded with a puff as it hit Jessie's back. For a brief moment, I was afraid that I had hurt her.
"Ooh, you sneaky dog!" Jessie laughed, and I smiled in relief.
"I don't know what you're talking about!"
"Don't play dumb with me, silly," she said, giving me a soft punch to the shoulder.
"Did someone hit you with a snowball? Goodness!" I joked, snickering.
"Alright buster, that's it! I challenge you to a formal snowball fight!"
"I'll make sure to take it easy on you."
"Uh huh? You wish!"
I took my position and tossed a snowball Jessie's way, making sure to just miss her. She laughed and sent one my way, but it plopped down halfway between the two of us. I was having a hard time making a snowball, I was laughing so hard. The next snowball that Jessie threw hit its target though. "Right in the baby-maker!" I groaned, buckling over.
"You okay, Dee?" Jess called. She ran over to me and knelt next to me, one hand on my back. "Maybe we should go inside." I didn't want to dampen our fun, but I was getting cold.
"Yeah," I said, "You're right."
We changed into dry clothes, then we sat down in the family room across the TV. As a reflex, I reached my arm out to put around Jessie's shoulders, but she pushed me away.
"Whoa, what're you doing Andy?" I pulled arm away fast, as if I had just touched a hot stove.
I turned my face straight, but Jess kept eyeing me. I refused to make eye contact.
"Andy I'm-"
"Don't."
"You just surprised me, that's all, I-"
"Stop it."
"Dee, listen I'm sorry, I-"
"Nope. I'm a foolish idiot."
"Andy, stop it, just listen to me-"
"I'm already embarrassed enough."
"Can we talk please?! For God's sake, stop being immature!"
"We have nothing to talk about Jess. Can we just forget it? Please?" I said with exasperation. Jessie fell silent, but watched me anyway. The rejection stung like a fresh paper cut.
I got up to avoid Jessie's eyes. How could I have been stupid enough to just make a move like some teenager? Jess was mature-she probably wanted an adult relationship. Probably one that I could never manage. Ironic-that was part of the very reason why I broke up with Leon in the first place.
Mom and dad were dancing again. They seemed to like doing it a lot more lately, getting caught up with their past. I thought that they liked the idea of falling in love again. "Mom, are you just the guy in all these dances?"
"We danced like a proper lady and gentleman at your dad's ball, but only when I tripped and fell into your father's embrace did I really fall for him," mom sighed.
"Isn't that kinda cheesy?" I asked.
"Hon, when you're in love, nothing seems cheesy. Don't hold back with your romantic gestures, you hear?"
I wanted to say something, but Jessie was still sitting in the next room, watching TV. "Yeah. I won't, mom," I said softly.
Dad stared into mom's eyes lovingly. "Andy, never stop fighting for the person you love. Never."
"You're right, pop," I said, and judging by the volume of the television, Jessie had heard for sure. I was not going to give up just like that. Maybe it wouldn't happen this week, this month, or hell, even this year, but it would happen.
I needn't have worried, however.
Christmas Day came quickly, and the next thing I knew, guests were coming in to give presents. We had a full house, and I was amazed to see all sorts of people. Leon showed up. We had started talking again, and I was glad to hear that he had moved on and was now in a happy relationship with a co-worker who had been crushing on Leon for a long time. Most of the boys that showed up were invited by Sandy, and the majority of adults were mutual friends of mom and dad. Robbie, Becky, Wayne, Drizella and Anastasia were just a few on the guest list. Some came, dropped of a present and left, but others stayed to receive presents from us.
Jessie really surprised me by asking her blog followers to donate money so she could buy a gift for me. They ended up giving her a staggering amount of money, so she bought me an iPad with a cute note. My gift was nowhere near as good, but she gave me a winning smile that was worth it. Along with the main gift and a card, I also gave her a set of cases for her phone.
I wasn't sure what mom and dad gave each other, but they winked at each other and that was that. I wasn't sure what Sandy gave one of the boys, but he seemed to like it. He was in one of my classes when I was in high school, but he was the quiet type, so I didn't really know what he was like.
One of Sandy's ex-lovers, Jayme something-or-other, who still had a thing for her was very excited when opening the present she had for him, but closed it angrily when he saw what was inside and looked away furiously. Sandy just smiled. "What was that all about?" I asked, nudging her with my foot.
"Oh, nothing, nothing. I don't know why he didn't like the present," she smirked mischievously.
Mom made hot chocolate to keep the party going, using our drink machine. At that point, everyone was getting a bit distracted, fiddling around with their new gadgets, whispering to their friends, or getting up repeatedly to use the washroom.
It wasn't long before the teens got changed and ready for their prom. Char, Buzz, Sandy, Jayme, and a few others waved goodbye as they got into our family limo. Mom had to take a hundred pictures of her kids before she let them go, of course. Sandy was going stag-doe? I had to admit, I didn't think that I ever looked as good in a suit as Buzz did.
The guests trailed out until it was simply mom, dad, Jessie and I. And based on the fact that mom and dad were half drunk on brandy eggnog and had a drunken make out session and proceeded to climb up the stairs giggling and saying, "Ssh! We don't want to wake the kids!", they would be busy for a while. Good, I thought, dad can't do any more cock-blocking.
I took a swig of a fizzy pink drink that Jessie whipped up. She took a glass as well. The moment that the drink went down, a warm feeling of euphoria spread throughout my body. My brain just felt numbed, however. "It sucks being alone on Christmas," I muttered.
"Alone? You're surrounded by family, silly," Jessie said gently.
"You know what I mean." We drank in silence for a few more minutes.
"Jess, let's dance," I said suddenly, sweeping her up in my arms.
"But... there's no music," she protested.
"Dance anyway," I whispered. Whether it was because of the drink, or because it was Christmas, or because whatever reason, she complied. I rested my hand gently against her waist and took her hand in mine, enjoying the feeling of getting lost in her eyes.
I twirled Jessie around slowly, and we were dancing, and I mean really dancing. I had never had a dance lesson in my life, and I couldn't imagine where Jess had picked up her moves, but there we were, in a kitchen on Christmas Eve, slow dancing with each other. And I couldn't have been calmer and more content.
"Thank you for the gift, Andy," Jessie said.
"No problem. I thought you would enjoy a snow gnome," I said with a laugh.
"It's cute-tacky, but cute. I love it. It reminds me of you." I dipped her slowly. Not a dramatic dip, but she leaned back elegantly, peacefully.
"Thanks for your present. You really didn't have to do that though," I said softly, quietly enough that Jess had to lean closer to me to hear.
"It's alright. My blog readers really like you, apparently," Jess said.
"Huh. Who would make me seem likable?" I mused.
"Oh, shush. You're plenty likable," Jess whispered. She looked down, and we parted.
I walked around the island, trying to avoid any awkwardness. Jessie followed me and put a hand on my shoulder. "Hey," she said softly. I smiled sadly. We kind of blinked at each other, then Jessie pointed up. "Look," she said, "Mistletoe."
The next moment, Jess's lips were planted firmly on mine. It felt... electric. Was that tongue? Oh my god, that was tongue. I couldn't move, I was so stunned, but all I knew is that I never wanted it to end. Her body, pressed up to mine, and her lips, her lips!
Jess pulled back slowly. "I... about yesterday... I didn't mean to push you away... I was just so surprised, I dunno... And I... I hope I'm not being presumptuous, Andy, but I couldn't hold back any longer. I'm sorry..."
I didn't say anything-I couldn't! My lips were still on fire from that kiss, or at least they felt like they were burning. I couldn't get rid of my shocked expression as Jessie slowly pulled herself away from me until we were fully separate. No, come back, I wanted to say. Jess looked at me with amusement-or was that shyness?
"Jess," I finally managed, "Where did you ever learn to kiss?"
"Oh god, I was horrible, wasn't I? I've never kissed anybody before," she said with humiliation.
"Jess," I laughed, "I... you're... amazing!" Although my tongue had seemed to have lost the ability to speak properly, maybe it would be good for other activities. I hooked my arms around Jessie's waist and pulled her in tight to me, relishing the feeling of her lips on mine.
It was a feeling that I never wanted to forget, and hopefully wouldn't have to.
"Merry Christmas, Jessie."
"Merry Christmas, Andy."
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